When people think grandma, it's usually touchy feely thoughts of warm cookies. I do have a grandma like that, but then there's the other one.
Have you ever met anyone who has a propensity to insult you, but doesn't seem to mean it deeply? Granny, we'll call her, has a way of insulting everyone. She likes a good joke and always has one to tell you. She's always ready with an insult though it seems like she doesn't realize she's insulting. So far this week, I've been stupid, talked too much, and mumbled. Everyone right now mumbles because she doesn't wear her hearing aid anymore. Lest you think I'm just the bad granddaughter, she's also insulted Dar, and my mother, and other people who were thankfully out of ear shot. She can be a trial, but she's also a hoot.
Strangely enough, she really likes us, well most the time, despite her comments. She's the only grandma I've been around who is not afraid to use swear words and occasionally have a drink in front of me or even offer me one. Despite these quirks, she is a secret smoker and has been my whole life. When she's getting too crabby, we know to let her sneak off to the bathroom by herself in the mall or a restaurant. We just pray it doesn't have smoke detectors.