03 May 2005

Do I smell smoke?

When people think grandma, it's usually touchy feely thoughts of warm cookies. I do have a grandma like that, but then there's the other one.

Have you ever met anyone who has a propensity to insult you, but doesn't seem to mean it deeply? Granny, we'll call her, has a way of insulting everyone. She likes a good joke and always has one to tell you. She's always ready with an insult though it seems like she doesn't realize she's insulting. So far this week, I've been stupid, talked too much, and mumbled. Everyone right now mumbles because she doesn't wear her hearing aid anymore. Lest you think I'm just the bad granddaughter, she's also insulted Dar, and my mother, and other people who were thankfully out of ear shot. She can be a trial, but she's also a hoot.

Strangely enough, she really likes us, well most the time, despite her comments. She's the only grandma I've been around who is not afraid to use swear words and occasionally have a drink in front of me or even offer me one. Despite these quirks, she is a secret smoker and has been my whole life. When she's getting too crabby, we know to let her sneak off to the bathroom by herself in the mall or a restaurant. We just pray it doesn't have smoke detectors.


  1. I wish I had touchy feely thoughts attached to grandma. I, like you have one that is sweet. She's also blind and has been my whole life. She is quiet and we talk some, but mostly we just sit and look at each other, well, I guess I sit and look--okay she's legally blind but can see some things, more forms and shapes than details. Anyway, the most she ever said to me was when I was leaving for college. I confided in her (no one else) that I was a little nervous and hoped things worked out okay, it was going to be a big move for me. She told me that she knew I would do just fine. Some how, probably because she's so quiet, I believed her and more than once drew strength from what I felt were words of wisdom!

    My other gma---insult after insult--They just fly around the room as if expected. She had her moments of playing games with us as kids, but it was as it once we became an adult she was done with everyone. I don't know if it's because of the way she was, but she was the only person in a whole room of people to defend me and my new husband on our weddding day to my aunt! So I guess she's not all bad either!

    I guess like us, our gma's have their quirks. But regardless, their still gma. BTW, does anyone out there have a text book "here's your favorite cookies and milk" gma? I think that's something in a fairy tale!

  2. Since I didn't really get to be around either grandma...I don't guess I missed too much! I do remember visiting my maternal grandma when I was very young...and that she worked at the Wrigley's plant in Illinois. She always had a large assortment of gum and candy...my favorite was Chicklets!

    (and that is the most positive thing I can say on the grandma subject) =D

  3. I carried Roamer's Gma's large purple purse around Mall of the Great Pains trying to find them last weekend, nancing from one end to the other. I received both inviting and hostile looks from Mall people and a bit of a lecture from Gma Purple for overlooking them in the food court.

  4. WDKWG, they probably saw you from across the food court, but were enjoying the scene too much. I know I would.

  5. My grandmother, who passed away 2 years ago, had a tendency to make racial statements. It was quite embarrassing at times. When grandma told me that my cousin was getting married to a Mexican she said, "but he's not a dirty Mexican." My other grandma has always made insulting remarks also. I think she is clueless that she is doing it. Sometimes she does mean it. I pray that I don't become insulting or racial also. Please let me know if I do!