Perceptions of Time part 2

This is part two of a blog I did earlier about my perception of time and how I struggle with feeling like I'm wasting it or that things/tasks will "take too long." Even now, I am at my day job office without my computer so I'm redeeming the time by blogging on my ipad.

So I surprised myself yesterday. I put on music and did some chores. I did dishes, swept floor in kitchen and hall. It was only 3 songs. So figure an average song is around 3 minutes. In 9 minutes, I did much more than I would have thought would occur in that amount of time.

On the other hand, I tried to quickly go through my email. It took me 5.5 songs to deal with email, not actually do it but disband it to the "to do" "to read" and then a few things I could dispatch instantly. More time than dishes and sweeping and feels maybe like less done.

I did a seminar on writing once and I did an exercise with the class. Something I stole from a class I had been in previously. You take a theme and write on it for 3 minutes and then count the words. You'd be amazed how much of a rough draft you can do and how many words appear on paper. It's so much about just sticking to it or squeeking out some time here and there.

I've been having trouble getting back into a couple writing projects because I feel I'll be interrupted or it's not enough time. It's true that when you've been away from a project for a while it takes a bit longer to find your grove again, but maybe I need to use the small bits of time despite the fact they feel insufficient. I need to write anyway whatever the time frame, but that doesn't come easily to me.

Evolution of a blog

This blog was started originally when I moved to Spain between a few friends and myself to keep in touch and I'm grateful to you who have hung with me on this.

The evolution of which I speak now is that I am creating the pieces of a writing career if I do in fact decide to launch myself in self publishing. Even if I decide ultimately to search out an agent and a traditional publisher having a writers blog, writers page on facebook, a twitter account, and other marketing/contact elements is still essential. So for this I am migrating this blog to be attached to my author page on facebook: "Denise M Hartman."

I will then migrate my day job blog to my personal facebook page. So depending on which part of my life you are interested in, you can choose accordingly.

This blog will feature writing things or perhaps random life things. The day job blog will focus on the video production/religious aspects of that side of my life. So there we have it. The evolution as it now stands.

My first ebook

I have read my first entire book on a reader. It was a light read that only took a couple days and I wanted to put down my reflections on such a momentous moment for me. Things were different and some I liked and some I did not.

I borrowed the book from BookLending.com. That was a very positive experience - after some initial stumbling and not being sure how my book would be delivered to my ipad. Still not sure how, but it was there with almost no fussing. And I'm psyched about still being able to get free books from time to time.

I read on my kindle app for the ipad. It worked well and I had no problems. I noticed an occasional glitch that would eliminate a space between words, but then I notice typos in real books so as we say in Spanish de igual.

I missed the front cover of the book lying around the house when I read a book. I couldn't remember the author's name or the exact title and I couldn't just flip it over to see that. It's like a little of the personality of the thing is missing, but this of course doesn't effect the read or the content. You can click out of the book and see the cover.

I had some reservations about reading in bed. I hate reading magazines in bed; they're so unwieldy and it's hard to see the page when lying down. The ipad actually performed better than I expected or should I say the cover did. The cover acts as a stand so I could balance it on my (ahem) mid section or the mattress.

The angle at which I normally read (not in bed) made one portion of the screen dimmer than the rest, but by no means illegible. I read outside for a bit with a concern that the glare would make it hard but I was in the shade and it didn't bother me. I could see myself reflected in the screen while I read but I forgot about it after a while. That might bother some people though. I guess the dedicated book readers are non-reflective and I can see how that would be nice.

I was trying to flip back through and reference something earlier in the book. Never ever has a paper book given me a spinning wheel signal when I am flipping pages too fast, but I found what I was after.

I miss page numbers and seeing how far along I am in a book. I did discover that there's a way to see how far along percentage-wise and a location number but it is not a page number. I wanted to make some notes for myself and normally I would put down for myself what page number I'm referring to, but a location number seems less tangible or less accessible somehow.

My husband had to help me figure out how to lock my screen. The sensor that flips between horizontal and vertical would get excited and hop around when I was shifting around in my chair and that was quite annoying. Real books don't jump upside down when you're reading them. Once it was locked in place it ceased to be a problem.

I will be doing it again as I am far from bookstores and as we've seen there are going to be fewer bookstores even in the USA to browse. I'm importing a bunch of books too but a limited supply to be sure. I'm already grateful for my ipad as I may run out of paper reading material before my boxes arrive.

A new idea creeping up on me.

I have even in this blog explained the differences between self publishing and traditional publishing and been a proponent of going the traditional way. It garners more respect, especially in publishing, writer circles. Recently from some of the writer ezines, I've seen some articles that are challenging the way I think.

I am beginning to soften my own perspective on self publishing. Two authors I've read of recently are making good money on their books by self publishing ebooks. I think one of them offered print on demand books for a higher cost. Both of these articles featured people who are making so much money on their own that the publishing industry couldn't afford to get a contract with them. They did ebooks and started out with small sales and built up over a few years.

In traditional publishing, authors generally make a very small amount per book. Often under a dollar of the price of paperback actually pays the royalties. Suddenly with self publishing the author can make $3-7 dollars a book or more. It seems fair in this American land of free enterprise that the person who actually wrote the words would make more from them than others.

I have worked in desktop publishing and even laid out a few books for one of my jobs. I feel I do have the technical skill to figure out how to format and design books for epublishing. But my argument against self published books, is also against myself. The books often read as though they need to be edited -- because they DO need to be edited. I don't want to put out a book that reads that way.

So I saw a company that is helping authors who want to do this themselves by letting them chose different items of help from a menu. Just need formatting? $X price. Just need editing, $X price. It's a one time service rather than a percentage of your book for eternity. It's a great idea in this time of evolution in the publishing world.

I'm beginning to consider doing it myself. I will need to pay an editor and I'm not sure if I've got enough of my writing money left. I also am uncertain about my ability to promote myself sufficiently that it would be a successful endeavor. Keeping in mind I still have my day job that has to be sustained. A botched self publishing book would be a kiss of death with the New York publishing houses. They would stay far, far away after that and I don't want to ruin my chances, but it's such a different day. It's worth considering the risk.

Perceptions of time part 1

I have recognized that I and many of my fellow Norte Americanos are obsessed with the idea of wasting time. Particularly in the US, I think we think about this. Me personally, I have started noticing how many things I view as potentially wasting my time. One that feels huge to me is when you have to load software or some random extra computer things. This feels like a huge interruption to what I'm trying to get done. Sometimes what I'm trying to "get done" isn't particularly important, but ask me to upload something on the way to viewing your kid's funny video and you've lost me.

Other things I put aside and don't do instantly because it will "take too long." Now I don't have a magic number for what too long is and I'm often surprised those things can be done more quickly than I realize. A good example of this is when I set the microwave to warm something for 2 minutes. Often  I stand and stare absently out the window for this 2 minutes. While there is nothing wrong with a quiet moment or two of speculation or meditation, occasionally when I'm there with the two minutes ticking on the micro - I'll do a few things around the kitchen. Recently, I washed my two travel mugs by hand and put them away. They lived on the counter for days because I "didn't have time" to clean them. Or maybe I just didn't feel like it, but that's a different blog.

My own perfectionist nature and my own sense of time and it being "wasted" or "stolen" is a challenge I've only recently recognized in my life. I've toyed iwth the idea of timing things. I'm not sure whether to take one day and time every single thing I do (which seems like it would be a pain and waste a lot of time in that one day) or do I take a few weeks and time every kind of event that occurs in a day. This may be something I revisit on and off this year. I feel like if I did this I could prove to myself that a lot of things don't take that long and some of the procrastination isn't really helping.

I read a business organizational book a couple years ago and it recommended when trying to get a desk or email under control, do everything that will only take 2 minutes or less on the spot, right then. Other things that need more attention need to go on an action, call, or project list for an appropriate time. I've tried to do this, but I often start say, responding to an email, and then discover I need to dig into some old emails or find a contact list from a conference, and the envisioned 2 minutes turns into 10 or 15. Or at least that's how it feels. If I timed it, I wonder, would that be true? Or possible is it worse than I imagine? Did it take 30 minutes? So was I wasting my time? Was it important enough to get that much time? (That's probably another blog and another self help book.)

If you were going to time events in your life, which ones would you be most interested to know how much time they took? I think my ipod has a timer, so I thought about using this and documenting a day or  a series of days. Though I sort of imagine "wasting" a lot of time that day putzing around trying to get the timer thing to work. huh.

2 lighter mysteries

I've been doing a lot of travel lately which leads to lots of reading time for me and so I'm struggling this year to keep up with my own commitment to review the books I read. And in an ironic twist, on my last plane ride I was the only one for rows with a real book, therefore, I needed a real light and mine was broken. Everyone else had their personal glow-y readers.


http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Under-Pressure-Manor-Mysteries/dp/0425235211
Grace Under Pressure by Julie Hyzy
 The idea here is a young art historian who has been hired as a assistant curator for a mansion spread from her home town. Grace is in her probationary period of the job when the curator is killed and the pressure mounts. The mansion's owner lives upstairs, the staff is suspicious of grace, and her inherited home is falling apart. She needs to figure out who the bad guy is before she ends up losing her job or herself. I liked Grace and cheered for her along the way.

http://www.haileylind.com/brush-with-death.php
Brush with Death, an art lovers mystery, by Hailey Lind
Hailey Lind actually is a pseudonym for two ladies that write this series. One is an artist, the other a historian, so they make for a variety of information in the story. It's an easy read and they had some hilarious dialogue lines now and then. The mystery is set in California in the Oakland/San Francisco area and this one in a particular graveyard. There were some good hooks of using the graveyard as a specific place. How does this tie to art you might ask? The faux finisher Annie, the protagonist, was repairing a antique ceiling in a columbarium - a sort of mausoleum building but huge. I enjoyed this and didn't have the murderer figured out like I thought I did. This is not the first in the series, but the first one I ran into.

A million miles in a thousand years

By Donald Miller

So I read this book at the recommendation of a friend who is challenging me to go to a new level this year. It's a challenge to discover dreams and understand your desires anew. Well, haven't gone as deep with the entire challenge yet but she recommended reading 3 books with the challenge. This is the first one. I may be one of say 15 people in north America who did not read Blue Like Jazz by the same author. I had no aversion; it just wasn't ever laying around when I was between books. So I have nothing to compare this too.

This personal memoir with a self depreciating tone is entertaining but in this book he's exploring life from the perspective of a screenplay. Don bit by bit decides to add a deeper level of living and adventure to his life because of the exploration of story and what makes a good story. I don't know if this makes sense, but he really develops his own life experiences along with exploring what makes a good screenplay.

I enjoyed this on two levels. As a person who needs to write screenplays and who writes fiction stories, I loved the advice about writing and that Don was looking at it from a fresh perspective since he had not considered this writer advice previously.

The other level was a self exploration of what makes a good life which gives the book an almost self help feel. I don't know if it only did that for me because of the combo of things I'm interested in. I also felt an affirmation of the missionary calling I've been operating under the last eight years. It was good timing for me to have encouragement in my writing and my work life.

It was a fairly light and easy read too that didn't feel imposing. I can recommend it.

Book reviews: 3 mysteries and 1 self help

Recently I was reading about doing synopsi (is that the plural of synopsis?) for books and they said it is good practice to take books you've read and do a synopsis as a practice exercise. Since I thought I'd try to blog reviews of books I'm reading this year, I will try a few abbreviated synopsi with my two cents at the end.

Desert Lost, by Betty Webb
Private detective Lena Jones is at a trailer park trying to catch some graffiti artists when she discovers the body of a woman who appears to be from one of the polygamist compounds, but those are a couple hours away. It's not Lena's case but she gets pulled in when she goes to help her best friend pick up some escapees from the northern Arizona polygamist camp, but it's a trap. They escape but with more questions than answers. Lena wants to know why threats are escalating and who killed the dead woman before things turn deadly.

DG: While this was a pretty standard detective story, I was intrigued to learn about the atmosphere of the polygamist world. Lena is a detective with some unusual flaws and a childhood shooting which has left her with memory gaps. It will be interesting to see how this personal side of her unfolds in the books to come.

The Rosewood Casket, Sharyn McCrumb.
The four distant and very different Stargill brothers are called back to their mountain farm home in Appalachia to see to their dying father. He was a hard unemotional man, but they obey his wishes to build him a casket. The men awaken to their mountain roots and skeletons start tumbling out of their father's closet. It's time for the ghosts of the past to come to light, so they can rest.

DG: This book is high on atmosphere of the Appalachia mountain living and including a couple characters who have the "sight" for things unseen. It is strong on character development and an intriguing family mystery to be solved. For me, maybe too much history as the author couches the atmosphere around Daniel Boone. My significant other read this and liked that aspect of the book, so that is about taste not about the writing.

Whose Body? Dorothy L. Sayers
Lord Peter Whimsey is summoned by his mother the Duchess to help the architect who is working on the church. Apparently, a dead man has turned up in the little architect's bath. Whimsey is delighted by such an intriguing set of events and involves his valet, and his friend from Scotland Yard in discovering who this dead body is and how it came to be in a stranger's bathtub.

DG: This is a great light read. Sayers was a contemporary and friend of CS Lewis, an Oxford graduate, a believer and scholar. She's had a lot of influence in the mystery realm even though that wasn't her first calling. This story is from the 1920s and you do have to work a little to get into the language and slang of the day, but if you can do it, you'll enjoy Lord Peter. I don't know how many books she wrote of Lord Peter as a rich, idle, amateur sleuth, but there are a great number.

Murder at the National Cathedral, Margaret Truman
Mackenzie Smith marries his long time sweetheart Annabell in Washington D.C.'s National Cathedral, but the priest that conducts the ceremony ends up murdered a short time later. Mac steps out of teaching law to advise the Cathedral on legal matters around the murder, but he soon finds himself caught up in the investigation as much more than an advisor. Threats on he and Annabel on their honeymoon in London eventually lead to clues much closer to home.

DG: While I enjoyed this story, I was somewhat distracted by the lag in technology. It was published in 1990, so there are no mentions of cellphones (it would have been early days in that,) there are answering machines, etc. I felt that Mac and Annabell were a little passive in discovering the mystery, even though they do indeed get it sorted out. It made me worried that my own WIP (work in progress) is too passive which just leads to another re-write and I don't really want to go there right now.

12 'Christian' Beliefs That Can Drive You Crazy: Relief From False Assumptions
by Henry Cloud, and John Townsend
Christian advice sometimes well meaning leads to a trail of hurt and failure. This book debunks some phrases and jargon that gets thrown around in Christian circles that often harms the hearer more than it helps.

DG: This book takes some common phrases we throw around and examines them a little more closely and provides scripture to back up their expanded or opposed views. It's a book for people who are within in the church or who have left after feeling harmed by the church, but at it's heart it is just solid advice for those who haven't found help in catch phrases.

Global Media Culture Phenomena started by Rock and Roll?

I heard a description of new international youth culture around the world at a media conference. The speaker described the phenomena of young people in say China or Asia somewhere having a more sense of commonality with someone half way around the world, maybe in the United States or South America, than perhaps they do with super traditional family members living in the same house. It's the new global culture. The media culture.

Maybe these people from different lands became friends in an online gaming environ, a virtual world, maybe they met in a chat or on a site that allows chatting from fans. Maybe it's a site to practice a language they have in common. I've read of hispanic and arabic soap opera type programs having an on going friendship with others who are followers of the show. So you can see how this phenomena is occurring.

I've watched a few rock and roll concert dvds or documentaries in the past year and I wondered did Rock and Roll create the base for this? I watched as people on five continents could scream the lyrics of an English band. They have tattoos, and t-shirts that look the same as the people in the last country that the documentary featured. So I started wondering if the rock culture that has spread since the 1960s, the shared musical tunes, created the base for this global media culture. Pure speculation on my part, but the music whether you like the bands that are famous or not, created a common language for people. How many of you have traveled somewhere and soemone who can't speak English says, "Michael Jackson?!" Was the rock and roll invasion the basis for the internet global world?

I don't suppose I'll go do a thesis on it and have any proof, but it's interesting to speculate about. Another question that I've heard bandied about: do these people who have these intercultural communications or those who connect on facebook -- do they have "real" relationships? The media conference I was at said they had done studies and absolutely these young people consider these real relationships and friendships. I heard some, friends, uh, older than me discussing it, they said, no those aren't "real" relationships. A discussion that's only beginning I suspect.

Lessons not learned

I guess there are things that are going to be a challenge all my days. I look back at things I blogged about last year that still haunt me. Or something I'll read in a book or the Bible one day that seems so apropos and so applicable and then I can't seem to make it work in my soul the very next day. Apparently "getting it right" (is that a perfectionist voice sticking out?) isn't goine to be a one time project but an ongoing life long process. I remember as a teenager recognizing that I am overly self-sufficient (self dependent?) and have struggled to put things in God's hands. So what do I struggle with when I'm ahem, 40-something? I'm self-sufficient and don't trust.

Last year I blogged in "I'm damaging my calm" about knowing God's love is unconditional and yet finding myself straining and thinking well, if I tried harder at this or that....maybe I'd get better results. I blame myself for the results rather than trusting in a loving God who cares about me and living whole in that, end of sentence, nothing to do with what I DO.

One thing that I know that is a constant challenge for me is not knowing when enough is enough. In the fund raising process, as I've complained a few times in the last year, it is slow and there is very little feedback on whether things are working or not. So that "getting it right" voice, says, "well, maybe if you....fill in the blank." I have over the last year or maybe always not known when I've done my best and when I've crossed the line into striving. This has come at the price of a deep exhaustion this year. Do you have any tricks for knowing when enough is enough?

The odd thing is I still know and believe but somehow don't know how to function in the fact that I am God's precious child. I do not need to earn his acceptance or approval but simply accept that love. But I am the child on the swings, sure of the Father's love, yet calling out to him, "Do you see me? See how high I swing? Is it good?" And I think all the time, He may be trying to get me to go inside and have a nap.