07 August 2016

Excited to sleep

Most of my life I've been a good sleeper. When things get crazy: deadlines, work or travel, I sometimes do more thinking than sleeping. We can all agree that sleep is so sweet if you've missed it or lacked it at some point. Mornings are never my friend.

My father joyed in waking up his grumpy little daughter with a loud voice, bright lights, and shouts of, "Morning, glory!" The funny thing is now that I'm grown up I realize he is not a morning person either. He grunts and muddles through just like I do, but somehow enjoyed tormenting his eldest offspring in this way.

As a child, I was not a napper. I slept well at night but I was rather hostile when made to nap. So dad got some back when I made lot of noise during nap time.

When I was in high school, my parents had a habit of going out to breakfast and I would be chastised if I was still in bed when they got back. This resorted in me jumping out of bed when I heard the garage door and throwing on sweats to pretend that I was really up and at 'em. It was an often feeble attempt to avoid the, "Are you going to stay in bed all day?" discussion. Sometime during college and the first major episode of sleep deprivation I learned the beauty of a good nap and the joy of sleeping in with no one judging.

With no little people to raise, I'm still a big fan of sleeping in on weekends whenever possible. The last few years with the challenges sleeping, I've become even more intense about opportunities to sleep a little extra. I've been accused of not being a grown up in this area but I don't care. The feeling is that strong in me.

The last year has been one of those seasons in my life when sleep has been challenged, but I've developed this odd tick for the first time. I don't know what else to call it.

When I lie down for a nap or for the night, first I relax, pop my neck, breathe deeply. Oh, the bed feels so good....then bam.  I'm so tired I start dreaming before my brain is unplugged.

I don't know how to explain it. I start seeing the dreams, but then my conscious mind says, "Yeah, you're dreaming! You are falling asleep!" And this animates me and I wake up again.

Oh the irony of my mind being so desperate for sleep that it is excited enough to wake me up to celebrate the almost-sleep. Does anyone else get that? I've never done that before the last year. It's definitely a strange new hiccup in my falling sleep pattern.  The more tired I am the more likely it will happen.

I guess I'll go try to drift off and not get so excited that I wake up. May you have sweet and quiet dreams!

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