20 January 2012

Painting damaged by drunk lady's butt

So I first saw this headline and thought, "Oh, poor dumb drunk lady. She had one too many and was in a crowded gallery. She must have brushed up against some artists' painting with her sequins or something."

Oh, how innocent I am. No, this lady was drunk and angry and these were paintings valued at $30 mil! Now we've all been angry, but this lady must have some kind of chemical reaction with alcohol to reach these heights, or ahem,  should I saw lows. I'd wonder if she dated the artist, but he's been dead since 1980.

Also this was not a gallery showing it was a museum. I'm betting they think twice before they serve alcohol to the patrons again.

So the shocking thing is this lady didn't just get inebriated and bump into a painting, she actually dropped trou and put some effort into this even perhaps forgetting anatomy lessons of the past and trying to urinate on it. Really? You're a girl. The painting is not bothering you.

I don't know that I particularly like abstract expressionism either but after all it is just paint on canvas. Losing ones britches and, uh, rubbing oneself on a painting seems like going a little far. It doesn't say, but I have to admit I'm curious what the museum security guards do in a case like this. Making half naked ladies stop rubbing paintings with their derriere=awkward day on the job.

All of this buys her a charge of felony criminal mischief. Mischief indeed. Keep your pants on!


  1. That's hilarious! She must have been pretty far gone, because I can't imagine even a moderately inebriated person trying that.

    I'm getting a kick out of trying to visualize the situation. Was there planning involved? Did she have a lookout? Did she somehow think she was in a bathroom?

  2. Your thoughts are funny -- mine ran along similar lines. People are crazy!