29 February 2008

Friends, not the TV show

Thanks. This morning I was sort of struggling and I took time out to read everyone's blogs and I feel better. It is so refreshing to remember my friends and the life that exists beyond the one that I live in here. Sometimes work and private life become one in our lives here and you can get stuck and not see outside the bubble. You all are part of life outside the bubble and it feels really good. It felt for me almost like we all just hung out for the evening and I came away feeling good. I think that is a sign of an extrovert - to be refreshed by interaction with others!

We have friends here and we do have evenings of laughter and hanging out and that is very important to me. I hung out with Spanish speakers two evenings this week which is also a mental work out - following and participating in a conversation in another language. Losing the thread of things and trying to find it again. Sometimes in the middle of those moments I suddenly think - wow I understand. And then I immediately lose it because I broke concentration. For obvious reasons, that's not always as refreshing as hanging out with old friends.

We have a constant turn over here at the office. A girl we'd hung out with a lot the last few years went home for good in December. A couple we've done a lot with for the last year, practically every weekend, will leave in a couple weeks. They are young marrieds and I'm not sure we would have been their first pick for hanging out but they weren't allowed to drive and liked to get out and do things, so they came with us a lot. It's been fun and we'll miss them.

The mix at work is three couples in the 60ish range, and now with the new marrieds leaving, three couples between 36 - 44 age. I have a sort of weird dilemma at times of wanting to include two or three couples but not wanting to include all, but since there aren't a lot of us; it can be viewed as exclusion. (and occasionally lectured about at work...) The other side of that is if we just do things with one couple all the time, we could be viewed as a click. Another couple isn't in the habit of being social but asked me to help them be more conscious and involved. In reality I know I'm a grown up and I can invite who I want but I don't want to hurt feelings or be perceived as exclusionary. This would not be an issue if we weren't all in the same office so that annoys me too.

Anyway...all that to say I miss my friends even though you're not all in KC anymore. It's just good to know you're out there.


  1. You always helped us feel included in things. Thanks for that! You have a social "gift". It sounds like your social world is a bit complicated. I can understand how it could be frustrating. Try to enjoy yourself!

  2. I'm sure it's tough in being a missionary when people are always coming and going.

  3. Having to constantly interpret conversations would be exhausting and wouldn't make it easy to connect with people.

    I didn't realize that the age range where you are is so high. Trying to mix couples in their 30s/40s with couples in their 60s for social events sounds like a challenge as well.

  4. We miss you too! I agree, it's great to know that everyone's out there. It's nice to have a constant to connect your past with your future! :) (Some day you'll understand the significance of that quote!--unless you can get Lost via the internet and watch it...if not---then when you get it on DVD season 4 about 1/2 way through you'll get it!) :)

  5. I didn't think about the "constant" in relation to this until now, T. That's a good observation.

  6. I don't watch Lost, and I haven't a clue what thinking about the constant means, but we miss everyone too. We haven't found a family to hang out with at all!! Not even BB's brother who lives here will see us much.
    It sounds like life in Spain is complicated for you.

  7. Anonymous11:26 AM

    Do what you want and let them snivel. That's what your brother says.

    You have a right to dictate who you provide your hospitality to. They have the right to be thankful they get that hospitality.

    Complaining that one is excluded shows an exceptional lack of character. Find something else to do and quit being so freaking sad, I say!

    But, I defer to my sister, she acquired the "nice" genes in the family!

  8. write soon. missin' u

  9. Ah
    mixing work with pleasure
    a very difficult situation