How much of this was meant to be
How much the work of the Devil
How far can one man's eyes really see
In these days of toil and trouble
How much of this is failing flesh
How much a course of retribution
My, my, how loudly we plead our innocence
Long after we made our contribution
Okay, Dar just posted these lyrics from Bill Mallonee. Thanks to Forrest for introducing us to the Vigilantes of Love.
Here are my thoughts on this portion of the song. It goes along with a long, long running discussion (in my mind) about God. I don't really know if you'd call it attributes or how big is God or issues with Sovereignty or what. This song and a couple other phrases I've heard all are part of the challenge in my head to understand God. The interesting thing is that even though I cannot resolve all these thoughts or my "position" on them, they seem to keep drawing me further into God, rather than pushing me away.
How much of this was meant to be...
This makes me think of Calvinism and pre-destination. This is what if I you take it literally enough and far enough, I refer to as the micromanagement version of God. This has it's comforts that I really like. Every tiny teeny thing is powered/caused by God. Here my issues also begin...does that mean I blame him (inadvertently by assigning him this power) for really horrible evil things that occur?
How much the work of the devil...
This is where Armenianism begins to influence my idea of God, (is that right Taz? Or am I mixing it up?) This is where you do assign things to the warfare that occurs because of where we are. Then I can assign the evil things that occur to the result of the war zone and not blame God for them. This idea comforts me. Here I begin again... if you take the idea too far does that mean if something does occur that I wasn't praying enough or fill in the blank enough to make the warfare not go against me or someone else?
How much of this is failing flesh...
I think failing flesh gets mixed into the warfare thing too. Isn't some of all the things that happen the result of my own choices or the fight of the "natural man"? Is that just free will, natural order, human nature run amok? Or was every move I made pre-destined? Can I just blame some of it on the world as a deteriorating system?
Frowning providence...
I was at Anne Hathaway's house (Shakespeare's mother) near Stratford-upon-Avon, U.K. There was an old needlepoint from their day on the wall. It has the alphabet and then a prayer stitched in the cloth. Somewhere in the prayer was a phrase about accepting things from a frowning providence with grace. It's interesting that there have been long periods of time that adhere to the first version of God so much that they see him as a frowning providence that causes awful things to happen, the comforting idea is that you can accept it as from him. It's hard for me to assign that depth of severity to God.
Retribution...
What about the God of the old testament who was punishing the Israelites for sin and following other Gods? We don't talk about retribution much now, except when some kooky religious figure from television gets after some activist group or says something freaky about a natural disaster.
Suffering...
I get an email devotional. Lately it has featured sayings of Francis Fenelon, a disenfranchised priest or teacher of the 17th century, he said, "I am awed by the good that comes from suffering. I agonize and cry when the cross is working within me. But afterwards I look back and see what God has accomplished in me. Then I'm ashamed that I bore it so poorly." He is not the first nor the last theologian to emphasize the good that comes from suffering. I agree that there is great value to be had when you have to go through "the valley of the shadow of death." I balance this idea and all of these ideas really with Romans 8:28.
I know that ultimately who God is does not change according to whichever idea is strongest in my mind or heart or which one I may chose to discard or believe. The way I balance these ideas in my head is with that same verse. God works all things for good to those who are called according to his purpose. So if he manages every minute detail, it is for my ultimate good as his child. If the warfare version is true, there is nothing he cannot change into good in some way in my life. The suffering whether it comes from ill intention or good intention always produces value within me -- IF I allow God to do a work within me through it. If I choose bitterness, then I have made the choice not to take value from the suffering.
Have I blown your mind? I do this to myself all the time over and over. Ultimately at the end of my mental gymnastics there's God and whatever is "true" about him, I know he is faithful.
30 November 2006
26 November 2006
Thankful days
Thanksgiving was a big potluck affair with about 40 or so missionaries and their families. It was held at the international school lunchroom. Some people went to a lot of effort to decorate the tables in Thanksgiving festiveness. The food was traditional thanksgiving and very tasty. Much of it is hard to find here. Hard to find: sweet potatoes, whole turkey, crunchy onions for the top of green bean casserole. Non existent: cranberries, canned pumpkin, marshmellows. So a lot of imported food got eaten!
The most homesick I have ever felt was my first Thanksgiving away...in Belgium when I was 25 years old. That was a hard one. I'm glad I tried to get excited about what IS happening here rather than simply longing for what I cannot have.
Friday we had a All Spain meeting. A bit like a church board meeting but some details actually affect us personally. It was our first and interesting though lengthy. The group seems pretty amenable to one another and kept things positive. I felt good to be a part of it.
Things I'm thankful for at this season:
That we are more stable in life than a year ago.
That I didn't suffer from homesickness this holiday.
That I have ways, like this, that are affordable to keep up with friends.
That we got a dog this year.
That we have a really nice home here and our comfortable things around us.
That I can make myself understood here and generally I can understand the answers. This makes life so much less scary.
That we have a Spanish "church home" and a US one too.
That I have people in my life who sincerely care about me.
That our budget has held up and we're making it despite the dollar.
That we're coming home for Christmas.
I could go on....Give me one thing you're thankful for in comments!
The most homesick I have ever felt was my first Thanksgiving away...in Belgium when I was 25 years old. That was a hard one. I'm glad I tried to get excited about what IS happening here rather than simply longing for what I cannot have.
Friday we had a All Spain meeting. A bit like a church board meeting but some details actually affect us personally. It was our first and interesting though lengthy. The group seems pretty amenable to one another and kept things positive. I felt good to be a part of it.
Things I'm thankful for at this season:
That we are more stable in life than a year ago.
That I didn't suffer from homesickness this holiday.
That I have ways, like this, that are affordable to keep up with friends.
That we got a dog this year.
That we have a really nice home here and our comfortable things around us.
That I can make myself understood here and generally I can understand the answers. This makes life so much less scary.
That we have a Spanish "church home" and a US one too.
That I have people in my life who sincerely care about me.
That our budget has held up and we're making it despite the dollar.
That we're coming home for Christmas.
I could go on....Give me one thing you're thankful for in comments!
19 November 2006
Socialized Healthcare
I know I shouldn't get political, but I'm having personal experiences with socialized healthcare and hearing stories from people who are trapped in the system. This week Kerry has been sick, sort of a flu combined with something like strep throat. We went to the socialized healthcare clinic down the street.
It was a little disturbing how much like a cattle call it was. No one organized it you just had to look at the list and see who was before you - by asking the waiting room of people. Then you just walked into the doctor's room when the person before you left. No nurses, no blood pressure check. Very perfunctory. I had to ask the doctor to look at Dar's throat a second time because I had seen an infected spot myself. She looked again then said, oh yeah, I guess there’s a small spot.
Then she couldn’t figure out how to give us a prescription since we are not in the computers for social health. We did finally get a prescription and some antibiotics and he is on the mend. I think whenever possible we will go to the private health care clinic. It’s weird here, anyone who can afford to have private insurance does and goes to different clinics.
My Spanish tutor has something wrong with her vocal chords and has to go to physical therapy or occupational therapy. She said if she wasn’t a teacher she would have to wait several years for an opening at therapy. Really crazy.
Another story I heard was our Spanish School Teacher had a son who needed an operation on his little boy bits. Something commonly done before 3 years in the US. The waiting list took him until he was 6 years old to get it done.
So if this is what happens with small stuff I'm scared about the big stuff. But it was good to know we can run down to the clinic for small stuff though. It’s handy since it is so close. Most of our friends here in corporate type jobs have private insurance so they can have control over their health care. The idea that everything is taken care of is very noble and a nice idea. What I'm seeing is that it doesn't actually work. Then you have to pay twice. Once in taxes and once in private insurance.
It was a little disturbing how much like a cattle call it was. No one organized it you just had to look at the list and see who was before you - by asking the waiting room of people. Then you just walked into the doctor's room when the person before you left. No nurses, no blood pressure check. Very perfunctory. I had to ask the doctor to look at Dar's throat a second time because I had seen an infected spot myself. She looked again then said, oh yeah, I guess there’s a small spot.
Then she couldn’t figure out how to give us a prescription since we are not in the computers for social health. We did finally get a prescription and some antibiotics and he is on the mend. I think whenever possible we will go to the private health care clinic. It’s weird here, anyone who can afford to have private insurance does and goes to different clinics.
My Spanish tutor has something wrong with her vocal chords and has to go to physical therapy or occupational therapy. She said if she wasn’t a teacher she would have to wait several years for an opening at therapy. Really crazy.
Another story I heard was our Spanish School Teacher had a son who needed an operation on his little boy bits. Something commonly done before 3 years in the US. The waiting list took him until he was 6 years old to get it done.
So if this is what happens with small stuff I'm scared about the big stuff. But it was good to know we can run down to the clinic for small stuff though. It’s handy since it is so close. Most of our friends here in corporate type jobs have private insurance so they can have control over their health care. The idea that everything is taken care of is very noble and a nice idea. What I'm seeing is that it doesn't actually work. Then you have to pay twice. Once in taxes and once in private insurance.
05 November 2006
Personality tests
We went to a retreat this weekend and we took a personality test that we'd taken maybe 12 or more years ago. It was interesting to see my weaker personality traits had changed. I'd evened out in some areas, but my strongest area remained the same. This was the lion, beaver, golden retriever, and otter test. Some of you may have taken it. In this test I am a lion, a leader type person who likes to get things done and sometimes bowls people over in that process. Animal test
A few months ago Dar came on a site that did a Myers Briggs personality type which is more analytical and in fact when I tried to find the link we used today, I ran across things like you should only take this with a professional...couldn't find our original site. But this gives you personality types like ESFJ, or INFJ. Much more technical than the cute animal one. When Dar had me take this one I was a bit hurt by the results. I was ESFJ: extroverted (surprise!), sensing, feeling, judging. Dar is INFJ Introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging. Dar is in a category that is only 1.8 percent of people, so there were some really cool famous people in his category. Mine had Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh and William J Clinton (among others). Myers Briggs test
Mine sounded silly and shallow to me at that point and there were many "recommended" jobs that I've been trying to get away from my whole life. But today I reread a file I kept of my personality type and there were some better things I could see. Some artisan qualities sounded more pleasant than my first pass at the test, also I noticed that among the jobs I abhor there were things like police detective and wilderness adventure leader. Most of the people with my personality type are actors and sports players which I found disappointing. So a little space has given me some perspective.
The thing is I noticed that the two tests yielded pretty different results. I should have more otter qualities according to the analysis of how much I want other people to be comfortable and have fun (caregiver qualities in the ESFJ), but the otter category in the first test came in tied with beaver (busy perfectionist, I'm that too.) I think the two tests conflict with one another some, but in some ways I can agree with both. Maybe I'm multiple personality.
So are personality tests like a horoscope? Do I take one and it influences who I am? But the test I took 12 years apart came out the same which I found interesting. The session at the retreat talked about moving toward balance of all areas. I can see that I go too far with trying to get everyone else taken care of and not taking care of me. But being overly caring and concerned, isn't an all bad trait. I can see that I am very task/completion oriented and while this has its flaws I'm good at getting things done. I definitely take the tests too personally and feel insulted by some aspect.
So here's a new one I found that you can take online. I'm scared to do it. What else will I find out?! The new categories are: Captain, Social Coordinator, Steward, and Navigator. It sounds like a cruise.
Ahoy!
A few months ago Dar came on a site that did a Myers Briggs personality type which is more analytical and in fact when I tried to find the link we used today, I ran across things like you should only take this with a professional...couldn't find our original site. But this gives you personality types like ESFJ, or INFJ. Much more technical than the cute animal one. When Dar had me take this one I was a bit hurt by the results. I was ESFJ: extroverted (surprise!), sensing, feeling, judging. Dar is INFJ Introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging. Dar is in a category that is only 1.8 percent of people, so there were some really cool famous people in his category. Mine had Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh and William J Clinton (among others). Myers Briggs test
Mine sounded silly and shallow to me at that point and there were many "recommended" jobs that I've been trying to get away from my whole life. But today I reread a file I kept of my personality type and there were some better things I could see. Some artisan qualities sounded more pleasant than my first pass at the test, also I noticed that among the jobs I abhor there were things like police detective and wilderness adventure leader. Most of the people with my personality type are actors and sports players which I found disappointing. So a little space has given me some perspective.
The thing is I noticed that the two tests yielded pretty different results. I should have more otter qualities according to the analysis of how much I want other people to be comfortable and have fun (caregiver qualities in the ESFJ), but the otter category in the first test came in tied with beaver (busy perfectionist, I'm that too.) I think the two tests conflict with one another some, but in some ways I can agree with both. Maybe I'm multiple personality.
So are personality tests like a horoscope? Do I take one and it influences who I am? But the test I took 12 years apart came out the same which I found interesting. The session at the retreat talked about moving toward balance of all areas. I can see that I go too far with trying to get everyone else taken care of and not taking care of me. But being overly caring and concerned, isn't an all bad trait. I can see that I am very task/completion oriented and while this has its flaws I'm good at getting things done. I definitely take the tests too personally and feel insulted by some aspect.
So here's a new one I found that you can take online. I'm scared to do it. What else will I find out?! The new categories are: Captain, Social Coordinator, Steward, and Navigator. It sounds like a cruise.
Ahoy!
28 October 2006
Normal things
Yesterday I was pushing my cart through the men's silk tie section and I got tickled. I went on through shoes and out of the store realizing that it has become normal to push a grocery cart through the equivalent of Macy's or through a mall. It's normal and most the time I don't think about it.
Today it got really warm, 82 in fact and the rest the week is suppose to be in the 70s, after two weeks of cold rain. So of course we have the windows open again. I don't know if it's the rain or what, but the bugs are out in force. We have no screens on our windows. I guess you can have them custom built and a few homes do that, but most places don't have them. So bugs flying in and out of the windows is pretty normal. When it gets to dusk, we plug in these little things that look like air fresheners, they repel mosquitoes and don't smell like anything. I don't like bugs being in and out of the house but I'm used to it. This is a likely cause for why we had a bat in our bedroom one night. We forgot to plug in the bug repellent and I think he probably followed something in the window. We won't make that mistake again, hopefully.
Hola. Everyone says it. When you're out walking or a neighbor is in their yard or in stores, it's very normal to say hola and have it said to you very often. So without thinking now, I say hola when I'm out walking and I pass someone. I wonder does my hola sound normal or is it a little off, and they thing, "where is she from?"
All the tourist shops sell them, but then so do all kinds of shops. Abanicos are the pretty fans that are often a souvenir from Spain. The thing is the abanico is alive and well. In the summer, nearly every woman has one in her purse. I in fact carried one this summer. Without air conditioning, you are often in places that are stifling hot. When you hit that maximum capacity on heat, out come the fans. It's amazing the relief a little stirring of the air can bring. Lots of people use them in church too. You can spend a lot of money on hand painted ones, more suited to hanging on the wall or you can drop a Euro and have one that you don't care if you lose. It's interesting what has become normal.
Today it got really warm, 82 in fact and the rest the week is suppose to be in the 70s, after two weeks of cold rain. So of course we have the windows open again. I don't know if it's the rain or what, but the bugs are out in force. We have no screens on our windows. I guess you can have them custom built and a few homes do that, but most places don't have them. So bugs flying in and out of the windows is pretty normal. When it gets to dusk, we plug in these little things that look like air fresheners, they repel mosquitoes and don't smell like anything. I don't like bugs being in and out of the house but I'm used to it. This is a likely cause for why we had a bat in our bedroom one night. We forgot to plug in the bug repellent and I think he probably followed something in the window. We won't make that mistake again, hopefully.
Hola. Everyone says it. When you're out walking or a neighbor is in their yard or in stores, it's very normal to say hola and have it said to you very often. So without thinking now, I say hola when I'm out walking and I pass someone. I wonder does my hola sound normal or is it a little off, and they thing, "where is she from?"
All the tourist shops sell them, but then so do all kinds of shops. Abanicos are the pretty fans that are often a souvenir from Spain. The thing is the abanico is alive and well. In the summer, nearly every woman has one in her purse. I in fact carried one this summer. Without air conditioning, you are often in places that are stifling hot. When you hit that maximum capacity on heat, out come the fans. It's amazing the relief a little stirring of the air can bring. Lots of people use them in church too. You can spend a lot of money on hand painted ones, more suited to hanging on the wall or you can drop a Euro and have one that you don't care if you lose. It's interesting what has become normal.
22 October 2006
Worried, Happy
I've noticed the use of a couple Spanish words that are near synonyms for English words but they are used differently here. One is preocupada (preocupado if you're a boy). It looks and sounds a bit like preoccupied. This is the word for worry. I know this because I worry and I was trying to say something I was concerned about. Estoy preocupada de...whatever. I like this word for worry, because really when I'm "worried" I'm allowing myself to be preoccupied with something that most likely I cannot control or change.
Another word that I find interesting is contenta (again change the end to and o if you're male). While if you look it up you will find it is a synonym for English's content, however, the use of it here is wider than that. It is used for content, but it's also used for sort of glad or happy. This situation was good, or I got this new scarf and -- estoy contenta. I'm happy, I'm content. I like the two ideas rolled together. Paul (as in the apostle) wrote the famous line about being content in whatever state you find yourself. In English, the idea of content, which could connote just dealing with something without complaining, all the way to pleasantly at ease with the situation, with happy, I don't associate it with happy.
So "contenta" inspires me to ask what in my life can I be content with (meaning my old perception of content) and which of those things in my life could I move into the Spanish idea of being pleased or happy with it. I am absolutely not saying we have to be happy with everything in life, but maybe we just squeeze our emotions around something that we could open up and be more content and happy with if we would stretch ourselves.
Things are not perfect. But, preoccupation may be robbing me of being contenta with more aspects of my life. What about you?
Another word that I find interesting is contenta (again change the end to and o if you're male). While if you look it up you will find it is a synonym for English's content, however, the use of it here is wider than that. It is used for content, but it's also used for sort of glad or happy. This situation was good, or I got this new scarf and -- estoy contenta. I'm happy, I'm content. I like the two ideas rolled together. Paul (as in the apostle) wrote the famous line about being content in whatever state you find yourself. In English, the idea of content, which could connote just dealing with something without complaining, all the way to pleasantly at ease with the situation, with happy, I don't associate it with happy.
So "contenta" inspires me to ask what in my life can I be content with (meaning my old perception of content) and which of those things in my life could I move into the Spanish idea of being pleased or happy with it. I am absolutely not saying we have to be happy with everything in life, but maybe we just squeeze our emotions around something that we could open up and be more content and happy with if we would stretch ourselves.
Things are not perfect. But, preoccupation may be robbing me of being contenta with more aspects of my life. What about you?
01 October 2006
Sometimes real life is just surreal
Sorry to be so long between posts. The odd thing is often if I'm having a hard time I can't post...this time I have tons to post about and haven't had the opportunity. Now I don't know where to start.
We have been going to the fiesta activities in the town near us each night this week, so a few excerpts from a very interesting, cultural, bizarre, bunch of activities.
Wednesday night had a totally surreal evening, maybe a strange day over all. The new regional boss from the US was here. She seems very nice and approachable, we just tried to make a good impression since it was our first meeting of her, but feel like we could speak to her if we needed to. Went to lunch at a nice restaurant (her treat) for paella. Our neighbor was on duty - I think his parents own the restaurant. So I'm Spanish kissing the staff...
At 8 pm, we went to hear a music group, Toom-Pak, at the fiesta (all percussion on industrial drums and tire rims and stuff) very interesting, like Stomp. They didn't start at 8 of course. There were no chairs set up and Dar saw an old guy sneak around a stack and get some chairs, so Dar got some for the 5 of us. Pretty soon, in Spanish fashion lots of people were sneaking chairs out. It was almost a funny social experiment.
Before the real group began, one of the local clubs came around with their drum core and threw confetti and streamers. Then sang a club song. Then the real group began but another club came in and were drunk and kept singing and blowing a squeeky horn. The official band was louder, so it was still fun.
One it was over so we went and got churros from a stand they had set up frying them fresh. Little kids are lighting off M80s right next to us and loud stuff that Dar said isn't legal in the US. We decided this wasn't safe, so we walked down to the real fireworks area...fireworks again yes, third or fourth time this year.
We sat on the roundabout; there must have been 100 of us sitting on the median. Tons of people were gathered, kids were jumping over us and knocking into us wrestling. The fireworks started a half hour late 10:30. It was set to music which was very cool. Once again we were so close that chunks of the fireworks were raining down on us. I plucked a chunk the size of the tip of my thumb out of my hair. (Not burning thankfully.) This was a huge orchestrated show. You felt like you were inside the fireworks and the music. I noticed a piece that fell that stayed firey all the way down to the ground, off kind a behind us and had the thought that in a dry country with a 40 year drought I'm surprised they do so many fireworks.
A few minutes later a bunch of kids all get freaked out and are pointing behind us away from the fireworks. A small brush fire had started on the hill from the fireworks. The firetruck drives through our roundabout (without lights or sirens) the fireworks keep going... you don't know what to watch the fire or the fireworks. A heavy metal song came on in English for the fireworks...I want it all, I want it all, I want it now...it felt like a rock concert. Loud people, loud music, people everywhere. Then there's the fire behind us (not near, but up on a hill) with firemen going up to it. It was spreading quickly, but they had it out by the time we walked to the car and drove out. The fireworks were so large and so close that you felt like you needed to duck during the finale. Tiffany said she felt like she was on a tv show that it couldn't be her real life. Cooper pointed out that we had fireworks (fuegos artificiales) and we had real fire (fuego real). It was odd and funny. Home by midnight.
Went to a dancing horses show another night. Cooper and Dar stayed home and played video games while three of us girls watched the show. It turned out to be dancing Spanish horses couched in the form of a legend being acted out. Sword fights, jousting, fire, smoke, loud music ranging from rock to classical. The horses were cool. The show was long and it was getting cold at 11:30pm. Still glad I went.
Friday night at 6 there was a running of the bulls. Granted it was less than 3 blocks and there were only 3 bulls, each released one at a time. Kerry and our co-worker Tiffany decided to run...before we knew there were only 3 bulls one at a time. I was trying to record on the video camera. It was a hoot. Can I just say the bulls are really, really fast? Mostly people don't run they mill around then climb the fences, in a frenzy, which is what Dar & Tiff did too. I think I was jumping away from the fence with all the commotion, maybe with more enthusiasm than Dar, and I was on the outside. Very funny.
Then everyone went to the bull ring, so we followed. Anyone who wanted to could go in the ring and they released one bull at a time and it chased people til it tired out then they'd corral it out again and let another one out. The same 3 bulls. This would never fly in the US, too dangerous and random. This was not a real bullfight with matadors etc. and they didn't kill them. Very interesting, but I felt sorry for the bulls. They seemed confused and disoriented. It was noisy and people tormenting them and then running behind walls so they'd hit their heads. Glad it wasn't a bull fight.
Saturday we went to an bull-dodging demonstration. They dodged the horns - very close calls. A couple guys did flips over the bulls. They picked the bulls and they were bleeding a little from their shoulders, not too much. I know I eat meat...but I still find the tormenting type of killing disturbing. They did not kill them they just jumped around them. As a team they were very skilled at maneuvering the bulls to the right place in the ring for what they wanted to do. It seemed like the guys could dodge them better if the bulls were running faster. The bulls did not seem as tormented this time though they were bleeding this time. Maybe Dar will blog about this, we got some photos, nothing great but interesting.
I feel like I keep taking a deeper drink of Spanish or at least Madrileno culture. Sometimes it is overwhelming in a pleasant way, like a roller coaster or something but more like slow motion. There's just so much to tell you guys about lately! I never even got to the bat in our bedroom!
We have been going to the fiesta activities in the town near us each night this week, so a few excerpts from a very interesting, cultural, bizarre, bunch of activities.
Wednesday night had a totally surreal evening, maybe a strange day over all. The new regional boss from the US was here. She seems very nice and approachable, we just tried to make a good impression since it was our first meeting of her, but feel like we could speak to her if we needed to. Went to lunch at a nice restaurant (her treat) for paella. Our neighbor was on duty - I think his parents own the restaurant. So I'm Spanish kissing the staff...
At 8 pm, we went to hear a music group, Toom-Pak, at the fiesta (all percussion on industrial drums and tire rims and stuff) very interesting, like Stomp. They didn't start at 8 of course. There were no chairs set up and Dar saw an old guy sneak around a stack and get some chairs, so Dar got some for the 5 of us. Pretty soon, in Spanish fashion lots of people were sneaking chairs out. It was almost a funny social experiment.
Before the real group began, one of the local clubs came around with their drum core and threw confetti and streamers. Then sang a club song. Then the real group began but another club came in and were drunk and kept singing and blowing a squeeky horn. The official band was louder, so it was still fun.
One it was over so we went and got churros from a stand they had set up frying them fresh. Little kids are lighting off M80s right next to us and loud stuff that Dar said isn't legal in the US. We decided this wasn't safe, so we walked down to the real fireworks area...fireworks again yes, third or fourth time this year.
We sat on the roundabout; there must have been 100 of us sitting on the median. Tons of people were gathered, kids were jumping over us and knocking into us wrestling. The fireworks started a half hour late 10:30. It was set to music which was very cool. Once again we were so close that chunks of the fireworks were raining down on us. I plucked a chunk the size of the tip of my thumb out of my hair. (Not burning thankfully.) This was a huge orchestrated show. You felt like you were inside the fireworks and the music. I noticed a piece that fell that stayed firey all the way down to the ground, off kind a behind us and had the thought that in a dry country with a 40 year drought I'm surprised they do so many fireworks.
A few minutes later a bunch of kids all get freaked out and are pointing behind us away from the fireworks. A small brush fire had started on the hill from the fireworks. The firetruck drives through our roundabout (without lights or sirens) the fireworks keep going... you don't know what to watch the fire or the fireworks. A heavy metal song came on in English for the fireworks...I want it all, I want it all, I want it now...it felt like a rock concert. Loud people, loud music, people everywhere. Then there's the fire behind us (not near, but up on a hill) with firemen going up to it. It was spreading quickly, but they had it out by the time we walked to the car and drove out. The fireworks were so large and so close that you felt like you needed to duck during the finale. Tiffany said she felt like she was on a tv show that it couldn't be her real life. Cooper pointed out that we had fireworks (fuegos artificiales) and we had real fire (fuego real). It was odd and funny. Home by midnight.
Went to a dancing horses show another night. Cooper and Dar stayed home and played video games while three of us girls watched the show. It turned out to be dancing Spanish horses couched in the form of a legend being acted out. Sword fights, jousting, fire, smoke, loud music ranging from rock to classical. The horses were cool. The show was long and it was getting cold at 11:30pm. Still glad I went.
Friday night at 6 there was a running of the bulls. Granted it was less than 3 blocks and there were only 3 bulls, each released one at a time. Kerry and our co-worker Tiffany decided to run...before we knew there were only 3 bulls one at a time. I was trying to record on the video camera. It was a hoot. Can I just say the bulls are really, really fast? Mostly people don't run they mill around then climb the fences, in a frenzy, which is what Dar & Tiff did too. I think I was jumping away from the fence with all the commotion, maybe with more enthusiasm than Dar, and I was on the outside. Very funny.
Then everyone went to the bull ring, so we followed. Anyone who wanted to could go in the ring and they released one bull at a time and it chased people til it tired out then they'd corral it out again and let another one out. The same 3 bulls. This would never fly in the US, too dangerous and random. This was not a real bullfight with matadors etc. and they didn't kill them. Very interesting, but I felt sorry for the bulls. They seemed confused and disoriented. It was noisy and people tormenting them and then running behind walls so they'd hit their heads. Glad it wasn't a bull fight.
Saturday we went to an bull-dodging demonstration. They dodged the horns - very close calls. A couple guys did flips over the bulls. They picked the bulls and they were bleeding a little from their shoulders, not too much. I know I eat meat...but I still find the tormenting type of killing disturbing. They did not kill them they just jumped around them. As a team they were very skilled at maneuvering the bulls to the right place in the ring for what they wanted to do. It seemed like the guys could dodge them better if the bulls were running faster. The bulls did not seem as tormented this time though they were bleeding this time. Maybe Dar will blog about this, we got some photos, nothing great but interesting.
I feel like I keep taking a deeper drink of Spanish or at least Madrileno culture. Sometimes it is overwhelming in a pleasant way, like a roller coaster or something but more like slow motion. There's just so much to tell you guys about lately! I never even got to the bat in our bedroom!
13 September 2006
Paper weights
I thought paper weights were sort of goofy. You know at Christmas you see them in catalogs. Who's going to be excited about getting a big chunk of glass to sit around? I mean some of them are interesting to look at, but it's just something that sits there...until now.
Because we live and work in an environment with the windows wide open, I have come to appreciate heavy objects which can keep my papers from blowing all over the place. I never realized the practical applications paper weights could have. I suppose it comes from not having to live with the windows wide open in the office before now. On days the wind picks up, I'm scrambling for books and glasses and whatever to hold my stuff in place. Today I used a book, an actual paper weight, a pen made from silverware, a scotch tape dispenser, and a thick file folder.
I tend to work in stacks: these are done, these I'm working on, these need to go to a coworker, etc. Also at home I keep to-do things on the desk, like papers from ATMs that remind me to check the online banking. So I need lots of paperweights for summer. What an odd discovery, but please, no paperweights as gifts. I'll make do.
Because we live and work in an environment with the windows wide open, I have come to appreciate heavy objects which can keep my papers from blowing all over the place. I never realized the practical applications paper weights could have. I suppose it comes from not having to live with the windows wide open in the office before now. On days the wind picks up, I'm scrambling for books and glasses and whatever to hold my stuff in place. Today I used a book, an actual paper weight, a pen made from silverware, a scotch tape dispenser, and a thick file folder.
I tend to work in stacks: these are done, these I'm working on, these need to go to a coworker, etc. Also at home I keep to-do things on the desk, like papers from ATMs that remind me to check the online banking. So I need lots of paperweights for summer. What an odd discovery, but please, no paperweights as gifts. I'll make do.
09 September 2006
A normal day
I realized I tend to post about the things I do that are dramatic, to me anyway. A whole lot more of life is "normal." I suppose I should add the caveat, normal but harder, or normal but stranger. We still do things that are tedious, like grocery shopping, but I can't read the labels as well as at home. I can't understand the fat grams and calories, since it's all in grams and mililiters. Sometimes the differences in food make a trip to the store interesting. Sometimes it just becomes a flat out challenge and you're thinking, I just wanted 3 things...
Like many of you I sit at a computer most of the day, only I'm in a "Christian" environment. Oddly, I recently remembered swearing to myself as a Christian high school attendee that I would never work in a Christian environment because of challenges I had with the administration back then. In the Christian work world or school administrative world, they can be completely unreasonable and smile and say God bless. It's an odd combo.
Another oddity to the work day I've noticed is that people often think - wow what you guys are doing is amazing. In reality there are many days where you're just moving things around on a computer screen wondering, "Does this have anything to do with the big picture? Is this why I came here?" Not to say that there aren't amazing moments of being part of something bigger than yourself, but there are a lot of slogging through work moments too.
We bring our lunch every day. It's a different lunch than at home because of ingredients, but it's mostly a sandwich and some fruit. Often, one of us walks to the store, not far, and buys "una barra de pan" literally a bar of bread and we use this for lunch. It goes stale by the next day, so this buying fresh bread happens frequently, sometimes we eat it stale.
Lately the afternoons in the office are unbearably hot and it's very hard to think. Especially when I've been trying to solve the same website problem for two work weeks. Yes, the same problem all day for two weeks. ahhhhh. Not done yet.
We walk home, right now, this is a hot sweaty bit of the day that you can't wait to get over. When it was nicer, it was a pleasant wind down. It's only 1/3 of a mile, so a very short walk.
When dinner occurs depends on what's going on and how hot it is. Sometimes we eat at a more Spanish time, either through accident or waiting for the heat to die down. I've been using a lot of recipes from magazines, for some reason this has made dinner easier to deal with - I know I have the ingredients and what I can do. In the states, I just threw things together, but it doesn't work as well here for some reason.
I usually try to take a walk or a bike ride in the evenings, try to get to the computer but don't always make it, try to read a little before bed. Having a new dog has complicated the walk schedule. I can't go as far with her. Her leash manners are lacking at the moment, but she needs the outlet of energy, so we go.
Just mix a bunch of Spanish into all these activities, except work, and there you have it. A normal day.
Like many of you I sit at a computer most of the day, only I'm in a "Christian" environment. Oddly, I recently remembered swearing to myself as a Christian high school attendee that I would never work in a Christian environment because of challenges I had with the administration back then. In the Christian work world or school administrative world, they can be completely unreasonable and smile and say God bless. It's an odd combo.
Another oddity to the work day I've noticed is that people often think - wow what you guys are doing is amazing. In reality there are many days where you're just moving things around on a computer screen wondering, "Does this have anything to do with the big picture? Is this why I came here?" Not to say that there aren't amazing moments of being part of something bigger than yourself, but there are a lot of slogging through work moments too.
We bring our lunch every day. It's a different lunch than at home because of ingredients, but it's mostly a sandwich and some fruit. Often, one of us walks to the store, not far, and buys "una barra de pan" literally a bar of bread and we use this for lunch. It goes stale by the next day, so this buying fresh bread happens frequently, sometimes we eat it stale.
Lately the afternoons in the office are unbearably hot and it's very hard to think. Especially when I've been trying to solve the same website problem for two work weeks. Yes, the same problem all day for two weeks. ahhhhh. Not done yet.
We walk home, right now, this is a hot sweaty bit of the day that you can't wait to get over. When it was nicer, it was a pleasant wind down. It's only 1/3 of a mile, so a very short walk.
When dinner occurs depends on what's going on and how hot it is. Sometimes we eat at a more Spanish time, either through accident or waiting for the heat to die down. I've been using a lot of recipes from magazines, for some reason this has made dinner easier to deal with - I know I have the ingredients and what I can do. In the states, I just threw things together, but it doesn't work as well here for some reason.
I usually try to take a walk or a bike ride in the evenings, try to get to the computer but don't always make it, try to read a little before bed. Having a new dog has complicated the walk schedule. I can't go as far with her. Her leash manners are lacking at the moment, but she needs the outlet of energy, so we go.
Just mix a bunch of Spanish into all these activities, except work, and there you have it. A normal day.
27 August 2006
Night of Contrasts
I went down to the feria Saturday night with some people from work. I accidentally ordered two sandwiches, somehow, at a grilled meat booth and had to shout to be heard by the guy. At first he shrugged and pointed at the cashier. I must have looked pitiful because he went and intervened for me. I had grilled pork loin on a fresh chunk of bagette bread. Good eats.
Our pre-25 years workmate wanted me to do a ride in the carnival. We ended up on two different ones. The first was a scrambler type thing only it went in circles and hopped up and down. It was vigorous, fast, and fun. Nearly lost the coat I was sitting on - worked it's way up and almost out the back of the car from all the bouncing. The operator had a microphone and shouted at us, in addition to playing loud music and blowing smoke on us during the ride. He'd yell things like, "You want some more of that? Raise your hands!" in Spanish of course. Then he'd drop the cars and you'd fly out of your seat and hit the security bar. I'd never been taunted by the operator of a ride. It was funny.
The next ride was a giant swing of sorts. The fist that held all the people twirled and simulataneously swung back & forth. Up to that weightless bounce but not all the way upside down. The music was so entirely loud you had to scream full volume to be heard. We had to wait one round before we got on and the supervisor joking with me made the sign of the cross over the group before us. The whole carnival was loud but this was insanely loud and my throat hurt afterwards from yelling and screaming on the ride. (Both for conversation and for fun.) My ears were ringing which concerned me - the second half of the evening was to be refined and I hoped to hear it.
Three of us had a civilized "coffee" at a sidewalk cafe and went to a chamber orchestra. It was in a room that reminded me that Italian courtyard at the Nelson. The one with stone arches and the sky/ceiling feels like outside and night, you know? This was a 3 story courtyard of ancient stone, carved beautifully. Two slim cyprus trees pushed up to the open sky in one corner. Moths danced in the stage spotlights. Stars shone overhead. When the strings started on some of Mozart's most familiar stuff, it was truly magical. The venue really made it shine.
The midnight crowd for the orquestra was mostly over 60, though there was a sprinkling of young people in the mix too. I looked around several times and never saw anyone nodding off. It was such a quiet acoustical environment that you heard every cough. One lady opened her purse to put her fan away and it sounded like someone was doing the rasberries. When it got quiet between songs, you could hear the band thumping away some rock music in the main plaza nearby.
The second half had a dancer who did some flamenco style dancing with castanettas. It was interesting the way she could keep up with the classical music with the little wooden clakers. It wasn't quite tradiitonal flamenco, but it was interesting expression of the dance style with classical music.
We were headed home about 1:45 am. The streets were still hopping with people and the band in Plaza Cervantes still sang strong. It felt like a truly Spanish night. An epiphony -- of knowing that the people do this late-night thing, but here it was for real to see with my own eyes. A fun sensation to experience it and not simply know of it. Probably won't do that every weekend though!
Our pre-25 years workmate wanted me to do a ride in the carnival. We ended up on two different ones. The first was a scrambler type thing only it went in circles and hopped up and down. It was vigorous, fast, and fun. Nearly lost the coat I was sitting on - worked it's way up and almost out the back of the car from all the bouncing. The operator had a microphone and shouted at us, in addition to playing loud music and blowing smoke on us during the ride. He'd yell things like, "You want some more of that? Raise your hands!" in Spanish of course. Then he'd drop the cars and you'd fly out of your seat and hit the security bar. I'd never been taunted by the operator of a ride. It was funny.
The next ride was a giant swing of sorts. The fist that held all the people twirled and simulataneously swung back & forth. Up to that weightless bounce but not all the way upside down. The music was so entirely loud you had to scream full volume to be heard. We had to wait one round before we got on and the supervisor joking with me made the sign of the cross over the group before us. The whole carnival was loud but this was insanely loud and my throat hurt afterwards from yelling and screaming on the ride. (Both for conversation and for fun.) My ears were ringing which concerned me - the second half of the evening was to be refined and I hoped to hear it.
Three of us had a civilized "coffee" at a sidewalk cafe and went to a chamber orchestra. It was in a room that reminded me that Italian courtyard at the Nelson. The one with stone arches and the sky/ceiling feels like outside and night, you know? This was a 3 story courtyard of ancient stone, carved beautifully. Two slim cyprus trees pushed up to the open sky in one corner. Moths danced in the stage spotlights. Stars shone overhead. When the strings started on some of Mozart's most familiar stuff, it was truly magical. The venue really made it shine.
The midnight crowd for the orquestra was mostly over 60, though there was a sprinkling of young people in the mix too. I looked around several times and never saw anyone nodding off. It was such a quiet acoustical environment that you heard every cough. One lady opened her purse to put her fan away and it sounded like someone was doing the rasberries. When it got quiet between songs, you could hear the band thumping away some rock music in the main plaza nearby.
The second half had a dancer who did some flamenco style dancing with castanettas. It was interesting the way she could keep up with the classical music with the little wooden clakers. It wasn't quite tradiitonal flamenco, but it was interesting expression of the dance style with classical music.
We were headed home about 1:45 am. The streets were still hopping with people and the band in Plaza Cervantes still sang strong. It felt like a truly Spanish night. An epiphony -- of knowing that the people do this late-night thing, but here it was for real to see with my own eyes. A fun sensation to experience it and not simply know of it. Probably won't do that every weekend though!
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