Breathe in, breathe out. I went thru a spell a while back where it felt like I couldn't get my breath. I told a stomach doctor that after I eat sometimes I feel like can't breathe very well. He said don't eat so much. Thanks, I couldn't have figured that out by myself. But in reality it didn't seem to be related to the food. I also noticed the sensation of being short of air when I lay down at night.
I recognized lying in the darkness that I could escalate the situation or calm it simply by how I thought about it. I could concentrate on the tightness in my abs or I could concentrate on air flowing in and out of my chest as I breathed slowly and steadily.
I started thinking about the power of the mind. As a writer, I do often try to get inside people's heads. The thing is I'm not a super psychology student and it's not my first instinct to look into the thoughts or motivations of someone else. I like plot so I easily get swept away in the activities. Next they did this, and then they did that.
But seeing in myself my own "opportunity" to talk myself into near panic over catching my breath or calming myself down if I talked differently made me think about the psychology of characters and strangers more.
A friend of mine described how she took the anger level of driving way down by imagining that the person that cut her off had to pee or was on their way to an emergency. Or even she could imagine that they were having a really bad day and if cutting her off could make them feel more in control of their lives maybe they just needed that at the moment and she would "give" them that.
The power of our thoughts on our perspective is amazing really. You hear stories of the bitter victims of disease faring worse than those who make peace with it and fight on. In both cases they are fighting but one seems to do so with more grace and sometimes more success.
Whatever was causing my own breathing issues went away on it's own with no medical intervention. I could have spent a lot of time in emergency rooms at bedtime had I listened to the panic voice in my head. Instead, I concentrated on the air I did have. I wonder what other situations in life I could adjust the way I see? Opportunity or problem? I think in psychology they would call it "reframing" how I look at the situation.
So as I'm beginning to think of my next book I'm going to write I'm trying to imagine what kind of psychological journey I can take my characters on this time. From panic to serene? Maybe that's a bit too much, but it makes me want to look at how people cope and their motivations more.
Showing posts with label perseverance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perseverance. Show all posts
06 October 2013
22 September 2013
Telephone company induced culture shock
I had a guy who is living outside his own culture say he never had culture shock. I think he doesn't know the definition and has an ego that makes him think he's better if he doesn't have it. Maybe he is.
Having lived quite a number of years outside the USA, I would say culture shock can sneak up on you from very unexpected directions and maybe doesn't look like you'd think, even after years. After seven years in Spain, I define my culture shock moments by an unexpected and disproportional rage or reaction of some kind. It's not that the provoking event doesn't merit some reaction, it's just that proportionally culture shock jumps you several levels ahead of what it would be in your home culture.
Take Burger King for instance. The new one nearby has -- in English -- on the seats "Have it your way" and yet a friend of mine who is particular about how she likes her food was told "no se puede." It cannot be. Yes, it's annoying and yes it's absurd but sometimes something simple can blow you out of the water. This same Burger King which has a permanent sign on it's pillar proclaiming "24 horas" told me two weeks ago at 11 am -- 24 hours yes, but not today, only on weekends.
The last two weeks I have been at conferences. The first week was here in Spain and people came from all over Europe. Now, I made the mistake of thinking these people are Europeans so they will not have a strong reaction to Spain.
What I discovered is that I am accustomed to the eccentricities of Spain and I have accepted many of them. I don't always like it but I'm used to it. Now my northern European colleagues were suddenly asking why things were and I had no answer. I realized eventually that they were uncomfortable with the hotel changing the hours or the exact order of things or the details we had all agreed upon.
Now perhaps I have given up fighting these things since it takes so much energy or perhaps I have just accepted them as inevitable. I realized my colleagues were having a mild discomfort and confusion which is culture shock.
I know my significant other and I have each separately or occasionally together had moments of raging against something simple or terribly complicated, but invariably something we could not control.
Last Monday in fact after conference no. 1 we arrived home to discover our internet and cable tv service had quit. We reset the system a couple times. Nothing.
In the USA the next step is make a phone call. We put that off until morning because we didn't have the energy. The next morning the automated system couldn't understand my man's Spanish. So I asked the admin assistant at work to call. She perhaps didn't realize I expected her to find the entire answer for me. She got me into a queue for English support and handed the phone back to me.
After being on hold for more than 30 minutes and passed between offices because they had me on hold for the wrong office, I found myself talking to someone in heavily accented English on perhaps the worst speaker phone I have ever heard. It was near impossible to understand anything. I fought thru the preliminaries of my phone number etc. I kept say I can't understand you. This degredated into him shouting at me and hanging up on me. I thought I was suppose to hang up on the cable company - at least I could picture that happening in the USA, but here they hung up on ME in frustration.
My Spanish speaking colleague said I should call and renounce the guy which is the word they use here for filing a complaint. It's a very expressive word that I like a lot and would like to try sometime, but I'd been passed around so much I had no idea who or what department I was talking to.
So I called back and then the automated system hung up on me. Then I called back and they tried to sell me something before they asked me my problem. Then I finally talked to someone in Spanish. I discovered embarrassingly that the payment didn't go thru as my account got too low. Okay, I can fix that. I only needed you to tell me.
I inquired two or three times in case my Spanish isn't working well on how to go about solving this. Do I need a number when I got to the bank and pay it? No. So then I repeat their expectations and what I should do a couple times.
My man goes to the bank and there proceeds to get yelled at for not having the right information to pay this bill despite my close questioning of the phone company/cable company person.
Something that is simple or perhaps frustrating in the USA, turns into epic proportions in another culture. In the end, we figured out how to pay in another way online and service was restored but not before we'd had a war with our own emotions and the system. Often we just don't fight things because we just don't have the energy for it, but sometimes even in the same day, we have magical moments and love where we're living!
Having lived quite a number of years outside the USA, I would say culture shock can sneak up on you from very unexpected directions and maybe doesn't look like you'd think, even after years. After seven years in Spain, I define my culture shock moments by an unexpected and disproportional rage or reaction of some kind. It's not that the provoking event doesn't merit some reaction, it's just that proportionally culture shock jumps you several levels ahead of what it would be in your home culture.
Take Burger King for instance. The new one nearby has -- in English -- on the seats "Have it your way" and yet a friend of mine who is particular about how she likes her food was told "no se puede." It cannot be. Yes, it's annoying and yes it's absurd but sometimes something simple can blow you out of the water. This same Burger King which has a permanent sign on it's pillar proclaiming "24 horas" told me two weeks ago at 11 am -- 24 hours yes, but not today, only on weekends.
The last two weeks I have been at conferences. The first week was here in Spain and people came from all over Europe. Now, I made the mistake of thinking these people are Europeans so they will not have a strong reaction to Spain.
What I discovered is that I am accustomed to the eccentricities of Spain and I have accepted many of them. I don't always like it but I'm used to it. Now my northern European colleagues were suddenly asking why things were and I had no answer. I realized eventually that they were uncomfortable with the hotel changing the hours or the exact order of things or the details we had all agreed upon.
Now perhaps I have given up fighting these things since it takes so much energy or perhaps I have just accepted them as inevitable. I realized my colleagues were having a mild discomfort and confusion which is culture shock.
I know my significant other and I have each separately or occasionally together had moments of raging against something simple or terribly complicated, but invariably something we could not control.
Last Monday in fact after conference no. 1 we arrived home to discover our internet and cable tv service had quit. We reset the system a couple times. Nothing.
In the USA the next step is make a phone call. We put that off until morning because we didn't have the energy. The next morning the automated system couldn't understand my man's Spanish. So I asked the admin assistant at work to call. She perhaps didn't realize I expected her to find the entire answer for me. She got me into a queue for English support and handed the phone back to me.
After being on hold for more than 30 minutes and passed between offices because they had me on hold for the wrong office, I found myself talking to someone in heavily accented English on perhaps the worst speaker phone I have ever heard. It was near impossible to understand anything. I fought thru the preliminaries of my phone number etc. I kept say I can't understand you. This degredated into him shouting at me and hanging up on me. I thought I was suppose to hang up on the cable company - at least I could picture that happening in the USA, but here they hung up on ME in frustration.
My Spanish speaking colleague said I should call and renounce the guy which is the word they use here for filing a complaint. It's a very expressive word that I like a lot and would like to try sometime, but I'd been passed around so much I had no idea who or what department I was talking to.
So I called back and then the automated system hung up on me. Then I called back and they tried to sell me something before they asked me my problem. Then I finally talked to someone in Spanish. I discovered embarrassingly that the payment didn't go thru as my account got too low. Okay, I can fix that. I only needed you to tell me.
I inquired two or three times in case my Spanish isn't working well on how to go about solving this. Do I need a number when I got to the bank and pay it? No. So then I repeat their expectations and what I should do a couple times.
My man goes to the bank and there proceeds to get yelled at for not having the right information to pay this bill despite my close questioning of the phone company/cable company person.
Something that is simple or perhaps frustrating in the USA, turns into epic proportions in another culture. In the end, we figured out how to pay in another way online and service was restored but not before we'd had a war with our own emotions and the system. Often we just don't fight things because we just don't have the energy for it, but sometimes even in the same day, we have magical moments and love where we're living!
12 August 2011
To post a book by Denise
I spent a good deal of the last couple months researching and reading about posting ebooks. I read a lot of pros, cons, and instructions. Some of the instructions were a year or two old on the internet and didn't really serve a purpose anymore. I decided to stick to new ones. I downloaded the Smashwords Style guide which is a long book-like document and read a few bits of it. This is a case where everyone seems to have a different idea and you eventually have to pick one and try it.
Ultimately, someone on a forum was testing a video that they put on youtube of how to format your book. It's only a 5 minute video, so I invested the time. It's from an author CJ Lyons: How to Format your Ebook Video.
I found the video easy to follow and clear. It was helpful to see what she meant on screen in Word rather than just read it. Normally I'm a read it and do it person because that is often faster for me. I thought it was helpful and a doable process that did not take hours. Of course this is a short story. I'd have to spend more time eliminating some formatting in my novel (coming soon!) but it does not seem out of reach. I have been a graphic designer in a former life so maybe this stuff is easier for me, but personally I'd recommend trying to do it yourself before you hire someone.
Another tip that was very helpful was to have certain things prepared and ready before you go to upload. I got this tip from John Kremer at this helpful blog. ebook-publishing guide
This was the list I found helpful but he's got lots of other information there too and other links.
Book (preferably in.doc format) – See detailed formatting guidelines below.
Cover picture (in JPG format, max 1200 pixels high)
Short book description (400 characters max)
Proper book description (up to about 2,500 characters)
About the Author summary
Book categories (i.e. Young Adult, Fantasy, etc.)
Decision on selling price of book
Barnes and Noble's Pub It gets the prize for the easiest and most pain free upload-my-book (short story) process. Amazon is a close second but slightly more cumbersome at their kdp website that was hard to find.Find it here. Smashwords I almost skipped because they are a much smaller share of the market (Kobo, Sony, Indies) but they do epub for ibook which meant I needed it if I wanted to see my finished story on my ipad, so I got on board. It was the most cumbersome, the most fussy not liking my formatting etc. They do however have a way to do a coupon so you can give away the book.
I did not see immediately any way to have a free book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It must be there and I will investigate further.
I downloaded my book from Smashwords since the ipad is the only reader I've got. Looks really good -- except for 2 sentences that seem to be in a different font (and they weren't) -- and it appears to be bold face throughout which it also was not. So a little more investigating to be done, but overall a good look I'm pleased with for a start. Waiting on a friend with a Nook and a Kindle to tell me how they look there and then I will take another look at the formatting.
Ultimately, someone on a forum was testing a video that they put on youtube of how to format your book. It's only a 5 minute video, so I invested the time. It's from an author CJ Lyons: How to Format your Ebook Video.
I found the video easy to follow and clear. It was helpful to see what she meant on screen in Word rather than just read it. Normally I'm a read it and do it person because that is often faster for me. I thought it was helpful and a doable process that did not take hours. Of course this is a short story. I'd have to spend more time eliminating some formatting in my novel (coming soon!) but it does not seem out of reach. I have been a graphic designer in a former life so maybe this stuff is easier for me, but personally I'd recommend trying to do it yourself before you hire someone.
Another tip that was very helpful was to have certain things prepared and ready before you go to upload. I got this tip from John Kremer at this helpful blog. ebook-publishing guide
This was the list I found helpful but he's got lots of other information there too and other links.
Book (preferably in.doc format) – See detailed formatting guidelines below.
Cover picture (in JPG format, max 1200 pixels high)
Short book description (400 characters max)
Proper book description (up to about 2,500 characters)
About the Author summary
Book categories (i.e. Young Adult, Fantasy, etc.)
Decision on selling price of book
Barnes and Noble's Pub It gets the prize for the easiest and most pain free upload-my-book (short story) process. Amazon is a close second but slightly more cumbersome at their kdp website that was hard to find.Find it here. Smashwords I almost skipped because they are a much smaller share of the market (Kobo, Sony, Indies) but they do epub for ibook which meant I needed it if I wanted to see my finished story on my ipad, so I got on board. It was the most cumbersome, the most fussy not liking my formatting etc. They do however have a way to do a coupon so you can give away the book.
I did not see immediately any way to have a free book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It must be there and I will investigate further.
I downloaded my book from Smashwords since the ipad is the only reader I've got. Looks really good -- except for 2 sentences that seem to be in a different font (and they weren't) -- and it appears to be bold face throughout which it also was not. So a little more investigating to be done, but overall a good look I'm pleased with for a start. Waiting on a friend with a Nook and a Kindle to tell me how they look there and then I will take another look at the formatting.
13 November 2010
Two for the road
Well, many of you have been hanging with me during this odd disconnected journey of blogging in 2010. The update is that I'm behind. Shocking that, I'm sure.
Actually it's not for lack of ideas or things I want to write, it's about internet access and travel. If my math, is right, I can still make it. I'll have to do 2 posts a week rather than one. The trick will be access and probably a bit of perseverance. I think now I have 3 or 4 ideas that are either started or waiting their turn plus a short story I'd still like to share with you.
I've enjoyed the interaction and feedback on the many random subjects. Writing can be so solitary, it's been fun to have more connections and you are all so kind and interesting in your comments. That keeps me going too. Hang in there as I have to put in 2 a week because of the road time this year. Anyone taking bets on whether I'll make it?
Any topic requests for the mad dash to the end of the year?
Actually it's not for lack of ideas or things I want to write, it's about internet access and travel. If my math, is right, I can still make it. I'll have to do 2 posts a week rather than one. The trick will be access and probably a bit of perseverance. I think now I have 3 or 4 ideas that are either started or waiting their turn plus a short story I'd still like to share with you.
I've enjoyed the interaction and feedback on the many random subjects. Writing can be so solitary, it's been fun to have more connections and you are all so kind and interesting in your comments. That keeps me going too. Hang in there as I have to put in 2 a week because of the road time this year. Anyone taking bets on whether I'll make it?
Any topic requests for the mad dash to the end of the year?
15 September 2010
The 5k
Ode to the ones who passed me by, oh so many of you. Thank you four office ladies for keeping the pace in front of me and giving me such interesting conversation to hear. And yes, the answer is we were sore the next day. I think it was the hills.
Lady with the ancient dachsund, how were you able to pass me and disappear into the distance with that geriatric hound?
Oh you runners of the 10k, did you know you do funny things? I suppose all runners do as I am not among your class. There's the girl in the red sport bra top with the one hand that is floppy and keeps a different rhythm from the rest of her steady jog. There was the lady who appeared double my age, yes in a sports bra and matching jogging shorts. Yes, she passed me by and seemed just fine when I saw her at the finish line. An inspiration for sure but I'm still not taking up running.
Lady with the stroller and two walkable age children, was it necessary to keep stopping and passing and stopping and passing?
People I know, where were you in the crowd? I know I'm short, but I should have been able to find you.
Ode to you the ones that pick up the paper cups no longer filled with water that all the runners and walkers fling to the ground at the half way point, and the cute teen volunteers holding signs indicating how far we've gone - thank you for stolid encouragement.
I would do it again, yes indeed. In fact it was bliss to be involved in fund raising that didn't involve yours truly.
Lady with the ancient dachsund, how were you able to pass me and disappear into the distance with that geriatric hound?
Oh you runners of the 10k, did you know you do funny things? I suppose all runners do as I am not among your class. There's the girl in the red sport bra top with the one hand that is floppy and keeps a different rhythm from the rest of her steady jog. There was the lady who appeared double my age, yes in a sports bra and matching jogging shorts. Yes, she passed me by and seemed just fine when I saw her at the finish line. An inspiration for sure but I'm still not taking up running.
Lady with the stroller and two walkable age children, was it necessary to keep stopping and passing and stopping and passing?
People I know, where were you in the crowd? I know I'm short, but I should have been able to find you.
Ode to you the ones that pick up the paper cups no longer filled with water that all the runners and walkers fling to the ground at the half way point, and the cute teen volunteers holding signs indicating how far we've gone - thank you for stolid encouragement.
I would do it again, yes indeed. In fact it was bliss to be involved in fund raising that didn't involve yours truly.
09 August 2010
A day in the life
Backstory: For six months, I worked on contacting our broadcast partners and others who had been interested in doing one of our Bible stories video projects in another language to arrange a foreign language shoot for the Go Borderless event. After many disappointments and what seemed to be spiritual opposition, I discovered that two guys were coming from Bangladesh to the Go Borderless 10 day training event. We exchanged the script and started planning for them to stay an extra week for the editing process etc. I was so relieved to finally have something locked down and something that would touch so many lives. I was to direct the shoot so I had been out scouting locations, the direction of the sun at various times of day, etc. We would take half the team and shoot half of the man on cameras segments one day and the following day finish them with the other half of the team. Everyone would experience a field shoot and at the same time we'd have another product done in another language. So finally it was all coming together.
Then two weeks before the shoot, we got word that the Spanish embassy had denied the Bengali men's visas to attend Go Borderless. We sent appeals called, faxed. The embassy wouldn't budget. Now with only two weeks to go I was starting over.
The first thing I was sure about was it had to be someone local - we couldn't ask anyone to fly in at the last minute. So I called one of the Christian production houses that also does a drug rehab ministry that is based in Spain. In my unpretty Spanish and his bumpy English, Dani and I talked. He did have someone who could do the man on camera parts. He was busy that day and said send him an email. I had our resident organizer, Spanish speaker, and lawyer - Silvia verify with him. Yes, yes, everything was fine, but he was always too busy to talk it through.
The day of the shoot: I'm organizing the team of Go Borderless volunteers, the equipment is getting loaded in the Speed the Light van for transport to an old village nearby. A man named Javi shows up dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I start putting make up on him in preparation to go to our location. We are talking, in Spanish, I'm explaining what the day will involve. He thinks it's weird I'm putting make up on him. I try to say we always do this for talent. After we get him done, he is on the phone. I thought he was dressed casually but Dani would be using this for broadcast so I assumed he sent Javi with the casual look on purpose. Javi has told me he is usually a camera man.
We load up and get ready to leave and Javi is still on the phone. We get there and start setting up the equipment on our first of four locations for the day. We are ready to start shooting and I finally understand Javi. He is not a talent/on camera person. He has been on the phone trying to get his boss to send out David who usually does this kind of thing. No wonder Javi thought it was weird I was putting makeup on a camera man.
But we need to start shooting. We are all set up, on location, ready. So I make Javi do the first take. I don't know if David is going to show up ever much less now. After one take, we have to reset some lights and teleprompter things and a car screeches up near us. A man, David, in a suit jumps out. This is the guy. Somewhere we miscommunicated with Dani or he did with someone else. So I'm in the middle of the street in this village putting make up on David (Thankfully, we'd brought it with us!)
David was very good at the man on camera talent and the shoot went really well. Until location #3. A week previously I'd checked this location. Silvia had filed a permit with the town to shoot. Suddenly, the day we need to shoot, they are loudly putting metal scaffolding up in front of the old cathedral. I adjust the shoot plan and we squeeze a shot in that doesn't include scaffolding. AND we do it while the scaffolding men are at lunch - or we would have had no audio whatsoever.
It was a crazy day. I've never had talent change midstream like this. The Spanish version of Path of Jesus was completed and used by the local broadcaster here in Spain who also has stations in South America. In addition, it is being shared with Assemblies of God churches in Spain and that is just the beginning.
Then two weeks before the shoot, we got word that the Spanish embassy had denied the Bengali men's visas to attend Go Borderless. We sent appeals called, faxed. The embassy wouldn't budget. Now with only two weeks to go I was starting over.
The first thing I was sure about was it had to be someone local - we couldn't ask anyone to fly in at the last minute. So I called one of the Christian production houses that also does a drug rehab ministry that is based in Spain. In my unpretty Spanish and his bumpy English, Dani and I talked. He did have someone who could do the man on camera parts. He was busy that day and said send him an email. I had our resident organizer, Spanish speaker, and lawyer - Silvia verify with him. Yes, yes, everything was fine, but he was always too busy to talk it through.
The day of the shoot: I'm organizing the team of Go Borderless volunteers, the equipment is getting loaded in the Speed the Light van for transport to an old village nearby. A man named Javi shows up dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. I start putting make up on him in preparation to go to our location. We are talking, in Spanish, I'm explaining what the day will involve. He thinks it's weird I'm putting make up on him. I try to say we always do this for talent. After we get him done, he is on the phone. I thought he was dressed casually but Dani would be using this for broadcast so I assumed he sent Javi with the casual look on purpose. Javi has told me he is usually a camera man.
We load up and get ready to leave and Javi is still on the phone. We get there and start setting up the equipment on our first of four locations for the day. We are ready to start shooting and I finally understand Javi. He is not a talent/on camera person. He has been on the phone trying to get his boss to send out David who usually does this kind of thing. No wonder Javi thought it was weird I was putting makeup on a camera man.
But we need to start shooting. We are all set up, on location, ready. So I make Javi do the first take. I don't know if David is going to show up ever much less now. After one take, we have to reset some lights and teleprompter things and a car screeches up near us. A man, David, in a suit jumps out. This is the guy. Somewhere we miscommunicated with Dani or he did with someone else. So I'm in the middle of the street in this village putting make up on David (Thankfully, we'd brought it with us!)
David was very good at the man on camera talent and the shoot went really well. Until location #3. A week previously I'd checked this location. Silvia had filed a permit with the town to shoot. Suddenly, the day we need to shoot, they are loudly putting metal scaffolding up in front of the old cathedral. I adjust the shoot plan and we squeeze a shot in that doesn't include scaffolding. AND we do it while the scaffolding men are at lunch - or we would have had no audio whatsoever.
It was a crazy day. I've never had talent change midstream like this. The Spanish version of Path of Jesus was completed and used by the local broadcaster here in Spain who also has stations in South America. In addition, it is being shared with Assemblies of God churches in Spain and that is just the beginning.
04 July 2010
Obscurity
How many of us live our existence is relative obscurity? We have our friends and family but we don't have something infamous or famous and yet what great significance we have.
This theme first occurred to me last week when a memorial video was played of missionaries who have died in the last year who were with my missions organization. All of them were quite old and had fought the good fight and won the race. It made me sad because I thought of grandma who passed in the last year. Some part of me hurt because no one would show a slide show about her month later. Yet, a voice cried out in my mind because I remember and celebrate her, it is okay. She may have lived an obscure life but it was important in its unique way.
The next day there was a lecture by Alicia Britt Chole. She had a very challenging idea that I had not heard presented before in Christian circles. She noted, very eloquently, that nearly of of Christ's existence was hidden. He had this moment of bursting on the scene as an infant, an appearance at the temple, a brief fleeing as a toddler. Next we see him in the temple as a youth and then not again until he is 30 years old. Most of this time is hidden from us. Her challenge was that he became the person he needed to be for his ministry years in that obscurity. It was not "wasted" as we might think of it from a purely public relations, marketing perspective. It was development.
So the third thing this week that made me think of obscurity was receiving my alumni news magazine from my college. It used to make me think dreadful thoughts about how little I've done with my life, but this time I thought differently as I read the accolades of fellow alum. I searched it in a selfish way wondering who might be a connection to someone who would support our missions work or who of these people might be compelled also by our goals. But I also realized that we all send in our current status in an attempt to pull out of our obscurity for a moment. To shine out in the crowd. I too do these things, but for some reason all these things this week have made me realize there is no shame in obscurity. No waste in our quiet bits of life that don't appear on lots of radar screens. Perhaps there is something of treasure there if we know how to look.
This theme first occurred to me last week when a memorial video was played of missionaries who have died in the last year who were with my missions organization. All of them were quite old and had fought the good fight and won the race. It made me sad because I thought of grandma who passed in the last year. Some part of me hurt because no one would show a slide show about her month later. Yet, a voice cried out in my mind because I remember and celebrate her, it is okay. She may have lived an obscure life but it was important in its unique way.
The next day there was a lecture by Alicia Britt Chole. She had a very challenging idea that I had not heard presented before in Christian circles. She noted, very eloquently, that nearly of of Christ's existence was hidden. He had this moment of bursting on the scene as an infant, an appearance at the temple, a brief fleeing as a toddler. Next we see him in the temple as a youth and then not again until he is 30 years old. Most of this time is hidden from us. Her challenge was that he became the person he needed to be for his ministry years in that obscurity. It was not "wasted" as we might think of it from a purely public relations, marketing perspective. It was development.
So the third thing this week that made me think of obscurity was receiving my alumni news magazine from my college. It used to make me think dreadful thoughts about how little I've done with my life, but this time I thought differently as I read the accolades of fellow alum. I searched it in a selfish way wondering who might be a connection to someone who would support our missions work or who of these people might be compelled also by our goals. But I also realized that we all send in our current status in an attempt to pull out of our obscurity for a moment. To shine out in the crowd. I too do these things, but for some reason all these things this week have made me realize there is no shame in obscurity. No waste in our quiet bits of life that don't appear on lots of radar screens. Perhaps there is something of treasure there if we know how to look.
20 January 2010
Instant gratification
Am I blogging only for the sense of gratification I get from a few comments? I've wanted to tell stories and write since I was in grade school...around the time I quit growing (taller) now that I come to think of it. Anyway, I like the sense of getting something out immediately, but I've been in the industry long enough to know that there is a certain lack of authentication without an editor involved.
I've read the articles debating self publishing and the need for a neutral party to read (edit) your writing. Better yet I've read some of those books by people who decided to just go for it and print after frustrating bouts with the publishing industry. I seem to have stalled out in that painful area and I can totally appreciate giving up and paying to put it in print. Don't get me wrong occasionally these books turn out okay, but more often than not they are noticeably behind their formally published counterparts in quality.
So after a sheaf of rejections in my own drawer, I do enjoy the instantness of a blog. But now I'm beginning to experience instant rejectification. Last week I submitted a short story to an anthology at about 11pm the day before the deadline. It was a story of around 4,000 words. I had the rejection by 3pm the next day. Hope doesn't even have much time to hatch in this environment. I suppose the bright spot is there was no exchange of postage and self addressed stamped envelopes.
So thank you for the moments of instant gratification in blog land and a thumb of my nose to the instant rejectification. If I give up trying, I'll never know if my writing can get authenticated and published some day.
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