23 November 2014

Smoothie disaster

So I went last week to a hair place recommended to me for relaxing head massages. I need to learn to relax more, so I thought I'd try it. Turned out to be a really natural place. Everything they rubbed on my face and hair came from plants. One of which must have been capsaicin because it burned like crazy and they looked dismayed that I would have that reaction to the wonder of special plant juices rubbed on my head. 

Anyway due to some dietary issues, I'll save for another blog ( I know that excites you to tune in later!) I've been doing a lot of online research on healthy, natural voodoo junk. Okay, not really voodoo but I try not to take all the special vitamin powders too seriously. But I'd read about dermatitis and rosacea possibly being linked to food issues, so when the creams and potions lady relaxing my scalp said the same thing I listened. 

She recommended two herbs to cleanse my liver and no more meat. I looked up the herbs because it was a Spanish conversation and I thought I'd better make sure I'd understood. So one herb says it can be potentially toxic and you should be under an herbalists care. You see why I say voodoo? 

Anyhow, I asked the farmacia here about them and they said oh it's fine it's just plants. I once attended a seminar about poisons, yes on purpose. I know, weird. The expert said that herbs are a real thing and sited some overdose situations.

So I only bought the tea cleanser of the weaker herb to clean my liver.

Then I thought there's all kinds of smoothie cleansers and that seems real natural and heathier than gobbing down packages of dried I don't know what. By some freak chance I actually had all the ingredients in the house. If you've read my avoiding grocery shopping blog you'd know how odd this is. 

My blender is broke, so I used the food processor. Maybe I should have reviewed the ingredients but I went from memory. I think the parsley and the food processor didn't get along. The frozen berry mix had a lot of hard bits that didn't smooth out either. It needed a lot of sweetner and still tasted like purple parsley.  I picked bits of parsley and hard berry pieces out of my teeth for an hour and I had burning indigestion for 5 hours. 

AND I'm informed that it doesn't count as the sweetner wasn't natural. At this rate, my liver is doomed.

 Someone pass the Oreos.