Rest and Rejuvenation

What do you do to rest? Not just sleep but deep down relaxation that involves more than just sleep. I've felt for a few weeks that I'm bone tired. Nothing to do I'm sure with two projects that involved 12-13 hour days. Other than daylight savings time which was last weekend, I'm resting well at night. I've even gone to bed early a couple times. So physically I'm alright.

It's my brain that's tired. I took a day last week and tried to just meditate and evaluate what is important in my life and schedule, and of course for prayer. That day has helped a lot. I've felt closer to my old self since then even though I wasn't really able to resolve - what should my priorities be right now etc.

I had seen/heard several things in a week about lingering before God, or being still and waiting before God, those kind of themes. I realized that this is hard for me and my personality. It's almost a discipline for me to try to sit quietly and just concentrate on God and hearing him. I can talk to him...yeah I can talk a lot. It's the listening that is a challenge. When I'm too busy my brain can't stop and listen.

Of course times get busy but other times aren't as hectic and those are the times that I need to discipline myself to be still before God. The little bit I was able to do was refreshing. It's too easy in busyness to lose track of God and the important things in life. In crazy busyness, which we all have at times, it's all you can do just to survive and you can't rejuvenate.

I also need to restore my creativity. It feels a little sapped and not because I've been so terribly creative. It's just a part of me that needs more energy again. How do you nourish that part of you? Maybe I need to exercise my creativity with something different than video projects.

So what do you do that rejuvenates you? I know laughter always helps me - anyone seen a funny movie lately? I've been in the mood to go to the movies but haven't got organized to figure out where and what and when. Reading blogs and reconnecting with everyone feels good too - it reminds me that life is bigger than the current conundrum. (Do I get some kind of weird blog points for using that word??)

Friends, not the TV show

Thanks. This morning I was sort of struggling and I took time out to read everyone's blogs and I feel better. It is so refreshing to remember my friends and the life that exists beyond the one that I live in here. Sometimes work and private life become one in our lives here and you can get stuck and not see outside the bubble. You all are part of life outside the bubble and it feels really good. It felt for me almost like we all just hung out for the evening and I came away feeling good. I think that is a sign of an extrovert - to be refreshed by interaction with others!

We have friends here and we do have evenings of laughter and hanging out and that is very important to me. I hung out with Spanish speakers two evenings this week which is also a mental work out - following and participating in a conversation in another language. Losing the thread of things and trying to find it again. Sometimes in the middle of those moments I suddenly think - wow I understand. And then I immediately lose it because I broke concentration. For obvious reasons, that's not always as refreshing as hanging out with old friends.

We have a constant turn over here at the office. A girl we'd hung out with a lot the last few years went home for good in December. A couple we've done a lot with for the last year, practically every weekend, will leave in a couple weeks. They are young marrieds and I'm not sure we would have been their first pick for hanging out but they weren't allowed to drive and liked to get out and do things, so they came with us a lot. It's been fun and we'll miss them.

The mix at work is three couples in the 60ish range, and now with the new marrieds leaving, three couples between 36 - 44 age. I have a sort of weird dilemma at times of wanting to include two or three couples but not wanting to include all, but since there aren't a lot of us; it can be viewed as exclusion. (and occasionally lectured about at work...) The other side of that is if we just do things with one couple all the time, we could be viewed as a click. Another couple isn't in the habit of being social but asked me to help them be more conscious and involved. In reality I know I'm a grown up and I can invite who I want but I don't want to hurt feelings or be perceived as exclusionary. This would not be an issue if we weren't all in the same office so that annoys me too.

Anyway...all that to say I miss my friends even though you're not all in KC anymore. It's just good to know you're out there.

Resurfacing

Wow - the holidays passed and things are settling back to normal. November-December passed with 10 flights for me from Madrid, to KC and Arizona, Florida. It was good to the grandparents after so long. It took all my "birthday" money to do the flights but it was a good decision. Then finally back in KC with snow every 3 or 4 days and lots of fun and food with friends adn family. We felt like we had a real winter with all the winter weather. Thanks to many of you for feeding us or hanging out with us. Felt the absence of Dash and T, and BB and Wah-Wah. BTW, BB or Wah-Wah send us your email off blog. We have friends from here headed to live in your city.

The moment I got to Spain I got sick with the flu/cold thing and only went back to work finally two weeks ago. I guess I just needed a rest and there wasn't anything pressing at work so I took the sick days without remorse. Hit the ground running with a new project, well two actually. 1. promote the Bible School here. 2. Revisit their 40 years of history. We have until the 15th to get it done so it will be really, really hectic. It's my first go as a director as well as producer for IMM, I've done it on my own but it is a good project to sink my teeth into. Last week it required a quick trip (4.5 hours away) to Cordoba and Bible School.

Last week I also saw a motorcycle wreck into a car in Spanish traffic. A little scary as people were trying to put the guy in their car and drive off, but ultimately an ambulance came and the police which I was glad to see. The same night I double parked which people do here all the time but I found it nerve wracking to listen for honking in case I needed to move my car. Life is interesting -- even when you don't expect it!

Thanksgiving en España

It hasn't been a festive day. It started yesterday with a miscalculation, misunderstanding on the time of the driving test. The official test is Friday, not today. Thus we could not take it and then scoot on up to the Thanksgiving dinner and the required attendance retreat of missionaries. I made a bunch a phone calls and we were told rather than lose the money and opportunity of the test. So we were excused to arrive at the retreat on Friday afternoon.

This morning we woke up, greeted our house guests who were on their way to the retreat. We said our good byes and headed off to driving lesson number two. (Number one was rough.)

Outside we had a flat tire. Lovely. Oh happy day. Dar changed it in 10 minutes flat. He was aggravated with me for not driving fast enough to get to driving school, which is ironic since he is the slower driver of the two of us. We made it on time and had driving lesson number 2. Dar got better but somehow I can't shake my bad driving habits, especially when a Spanish man is in the passenger seat hollering at me. Sigh.

Everything was open of course and so Dar got the tire fixed, we bought a new toilet seat for the broken one in the spare batheroom. Our poor guests, we think we heard it break out from under someone. Hopefully they didn't end up in the tub or with bruises!

Since we weren't going to get Thanksgiving dinner with the missionaries, Dar was thinking an American meal like Burger King. I was thinking but hadn't yet said I was thinking nice dinner/restaurant somewhere. Fortunately we were spared that decision by our Spanish pastor's family inviting us to their house for a Spanish Thanksgiving. No, it's not a holiday here but they have an American daughter-in-law and so celebrate it. We'll be leaving in a while for the 8pm dinner.

Not the normal thanksgiving day. In spite of all of the oddity of the day, I am aware I have many blessings to count. Let's hope and pray that one of them will be passing the driving half of the drivers test tomorrow. Honestly based on the practice runs with the teacher I am not hopeful for myself. It's a combination of nerves and someone giving orders and crazy traffic all around you at the same time. I can handle just driving here; I can't handle the instructor. Vamos a ver.

Spanish Driving School

For about 10 days, we've been cramming for a driving test that is long over due considering we have been driving illegally for about a year or more. We took the test today and it seemed to go okay and we expect/hope to pass. We will know for sure tomorrow and I'll post a comment letting you know. Big kudos to España for letting us take it in our native language, sort of. The English translation was a little odd like maybe they used too much babelfish translating. Here's a sample of some of the questions we've been studying.

The vehicle referred to as a private car is destined...b. for services or exclusively for transport of merchandise. (not a. for the transport of people or c. both answers.)

best way to combat road hypnosis? Answer: concentrate on your driving.

Except in special situations, all road users are obliged to obey the traffic signs...c. even when they appear to contradict the rules. uh, huh.

When two signs of the same type appear to contradict each other, drivers must obey...c. the most restrictive sign. (Shouldn't you only post signs that make sense?)


a continuous whilte line on the road which is considerably wider than normal...a. indicates the existence of a special lane. What kind of special I ask myself? Apparently I only need to know it IS special.

Which vehicles may use a lane provided for use in the opposite direction to that which is normal in order to improve the traffic flow? Answer: Huh? What lane are we talking about????

When will your private consume more fuel? a. when you drive with the windows down. (Since this is singular is it addressed to men??)

If an unconscious person is vomiting, how should you place them? b. in the defense position.

My personal favorite: What should you do if a person is bleeding from the nose and ears after an accident? c. never tampon

I'm here. Really.

I'm feeling guilty it has been so long. The hardest thing is that I have so many things I want to blog about that I'm overwhelmed and don't know where to start or what to put down.

(photos available for all these)There was the work trip to Switzerland. Followed soon after by the local bull run/fiesta. Then a major, major birthday that Dar surprised me and took me to a castle to stay the night. Followed by 3 days later a team of 10 people arriving from OPAG. That was cool, but being the tour guide was very stressful for me even though everyone was sweet. The same day they left, my dad and I went to Rome. Very cool and big city. I liked the vatican more than I expected. Then a day at home and off to Casablanca for the weekend with Dar and Dad. A little lingering intestinal distress from that weekend (not not a blog worthy topic.)

Friday, we are having people over for a joint birthday of Dar and another guy. It's an 80s theme and ought to be a hoot. Someone asked me what we were going to doooo? Are we playing games or something? I felt very old - I mean hanging out, food, and friends is enough for me. I like games too, but I don't need them I guess. Do you know any 80s games that don't involve purchasing a board game in English?

Tourist shops

I read a travel magazine that inferred that tourist shops were some sort of low brow, second class sort of traveling. I was sort of disappointed to find out I was somehow substandard.

I like cheesy tourist shops with the city name on plates and such. If you go into a bunch of them on one street, you sort of discover the trademark images or ideas of a city. And you discover how much stuff made in China can be stamped with another city name. I don't generally buy all the stuff though occassionally something strikes me as my style or something I'm willing to take home.

I guess to be truly cultured in your travel, you're suppose to disdain these type of shops and only go places that display local artisans or something. Don't get me wrong, I like local artisan type shops too. It's just that I can see the mass appeal of the chanka-chank tourist places.

Also you have to keep in mind that there are degrees in these stores. I think of Florida ones - t-shirts, towels, and sea shells. Not much else. But here the big ones will have swords, ceramics, Toledo styled gold inlaid items, in addition to t-shirts, stuffed bulls, and shot glasses.

Viva la tourist trap!

What happened to July?!

I'm not really sure what happened to the last six weeks. A lot of work in July wrapping up, and then undoing and then wrapping up the Path. That went on the whole month. The boss left on Aug. 2 with a complete DVD. Whew. First two weeks of August: praying for a way to get over all the bad feelings a couple of my coworkers left me with. Lovely. I'm glad Path is done, wish I was more ecstatic. It's mainly just relief and disgust at people's behavior.

Never heard back on that story I submitted. They asked for a rewrite and then the magazine almost went under. Now it's coming back but as a pay ezine instead of a free one. I'm not sure if my story got lost in the shuffle or what. I should probably follow up, and or sign up for the paid subscription. I've re-read 150 pages of my last completed book trying to figure out where I'm at in the rewrite and who these characters are.

Discovered a paperwork error in our official finances to the tune of thousands of dollars. Fortunately an accountant type friend here came over and ran the numbers for us. Waiting...two weeks now for Springfield to analyze and agree with the new numbers which means they owe us thousands rather than we already have it. Lord, please let that work out.

I got my hair cut quite short last week. I could form it into a spikey fauxhawk if I wanted to...someone said just because you can doesn't mean you should...Probably I won't. Or maybe once as a joke. : )

We had a Romanian girl living with us for a week. She gets back tonight for a little while, but she feels bad and is going to go live with someone else. She just had to get out of her rental place for the month of August. She's really sweet and it's no big deal. She's trying to join the Spanish masters commission in September so she can learn more about God and get out of her nanny, housekeeper, poor paying immigrant job. It's almost like having a grown up kid living at home. She comes and goes on her own and eats on her own. She's also very pretty if you know any single guys interested in a nice Romanian girl who does speak some English.

My brother broke off his engagement. Big news. We'll still come home for Christmas since that was the plan anyway. My dad had a biopsy that made us all nervous, but it came back clean yesterday. Yippee.

Today I got excited again about a project I had started for work last year and basically hadn't had any time to work on it because of Path. Initially after Path I was too discouraged to start working on Women of the Bible because of what happened. God is affirming who I am in him, separate from all the garbage, and I'm catching a vision for the project again. I had a brain storm today about finding talent for it and it was wonderful and exciting. I like the discovery process of writing a project and brainstorming it. Who knows if this will fly? I've just got to focus on the vision and the details and leave the rest up to God.

Lots in this post to give thanks for. In case I wasn't clear...thanks God!

Writing again

After months of busyness at work, I'm trying to get back in the writing saddle. I've written newsletters for work, scraps of scripts, etc but not just the fun writing I do for myself. It's really been since January also since I've worked on the in depth scripts for work. I write much better when I'm in the habit and I have to jump start my habit now.

To ease into it, last Friday I edited/read outloud a short story, wrote a cover letter and submitted it to a magazine. I got a fairly favorable response already, asking for a rewrite of the ending which is much better than a flat out rejection. I had a crudy day at work and had such a hard time even facing the idea of trying to sit at the computer, much less rewrite the end of my story.

I sat down sullen and not in the mood, but there's a certain beauty to just simply making yourself do it. I think writing is 99 percent about making yourself just sit down and try, and maybe 1 percent inspiration or mood. Tonight was hard because usually I'm just lazy and making myself do something, this was actually a rough day, an uneasy state of mind to overcome.

If it's mostly about getting words on "paper" (or screen), then I managed it. I'm not happy with a couple sentences and I think it needs some more work, but there's something there that wasn't before. It may not be great but it's a place to start, or end I guess in this case.

I will have my Thursday to do some stuff for work. Again, I'm not in the writing habit, and in the case of this project, I need to do research before I can write, so Thursday may just be research. And we'll be traveling Friday so I'll probably not have time. Next week, I have to be in the editing suite again, so I don't know when my next opportunity will come. I want to get more disciplined about using evening times but I can see the challenge of today. I've used a lot of my mental energy before I can get to it. I've read lots of stories of writers who have become big -- they had to want it really badly. Getting up at 5 am to write and that sort of thing. I guess I'm not wanting it that badly yet, although I did sit down tonight and make some progress under less than perfect circumstances, so I'll take that as a good sign.

Catching up

Wow! Did you think I disappeared off the planet too? I feel like I have. The last couple weeks I have been buried in the editing suite in the basement of the offices. I'm feeling a little like a mushroom, if you know what I mean, both because of the location and the work.

This Saturday I get to work again (last Sunday there was some tweeking on a promo-video). This is the same promo video but getting it ready for a missions trip group that is here working on construction of the new building. Nevermind we have two weeks to the deadline to get the big project "Path" done. It's insane here right now. No one seems to know where all the pieces of Path are at in the production process and the left hand definitely doesn't know what the right is doing. There are several nice people who keep saying "sure I can do that" to the producer (not me). It's nice that they are willing but they need to also add - that is redoing work I've done the last two weeks - are you okay with that?

Chances aren't looking real good that we'll make this deadline. It is not the end of the world as it is for a catalog that goes to the English speaking world but it does give some kind of connections (that are unclear to me) to broadcasters too, like Australia for instance. So if we don't make it, we can be in next year's catalog, but it is a shame to be so close and yet so far. Maybe they'll have mercy on us.

In the midst of this, the energy seems to be being sucked out of everyone by the building project going on next store for the office. It's odd and tense, but somehow we will get through this in the next few weeks and then it will be time to pack for the move to the new building. Maybe, that's not on schedule either.